Zarbon's Interesting Years Saga
by Karatelover
Summary: A collection of Zarbon's best and worst moments in his life, from him meeting his younger half sister, to his changing relationship with his sadistic trainer to his love life with Liya his ex-girlfriend.
1. Chapter 1

_Then She Came Along, part 1_

School was out forever for Zarbon, well military school at least, he was seventeen and he and Apple were in a large spa and pool area, which appeared to be in the rainforest outside Freezer's palace, but not very far. They were soaking in the same hot tub; Apple was all relaxed, "So Zarbon do you have any brothers or sisters that you know about?" Apple asked.

"Not as far as I'm aware of, I'm only seventeen and my life is a living hell!" Zarbon said frowning.

Apple looked surprise, "But Zarbon you should count the blessings in your life, like for instance you're allowed to disagree with Freezer, and I can't even do that."

Zarbon glared at Apple, "I don't care, I hate him with a passion, but on the other hand modeling has helped me with some of that pain."Zarbon said.

"Uh Zarbon does Freezer know you're modeling?" Apple asked.

Zarbon chuckled, "Absolutely not! But at least I'm not at that stupid military academy any longer; I was a straight-A student and the top of my class."

Apple then said, "But you got at least two Bs."

Zarbon then said, "I was depressed, I have manic-depressive disorder I was diagnosed at age fifteen you know, it's so common among Primal Changelings such as myself."

Apple then smiled, "Boy you must have had some dumb people in your class if you were at the top of your class."

"That's why I'm having the best summer of my life!" Zarbon said.

"Yah I'm enjoying it too!" said Apple.

Zarbon then dropped down further into the hot tub to his chin, "Nothing could possibly go wrong!" He said.

He was sure wrong about that, unexpectedly a young woman, who was Zarbon's own species walked towards the palace. She was really pretty with those gold eyes, brown skin, long thick black hair, and somewhere around 5'3 feet tall. She was only fifteen years old, she even had one strand of hair that was in a braid, and she was dressed really and I mean really sleazy, well not horribly sleazy, but to the point where some of those men would get the wrong impression of her.

She walked up to the gates where the two guards were standing guard. She spoke up in a proper English sounding accent, "Excuse me can anyone tell me where Zarbon is?" She asked.

One of the guards looked at her and whistled, "Nice tits, are you a C or a D cup?" He asked.

She smiled uncomfortably and timidly said, "Um a C-34," she answered.

The other guard just smiled and said, "Come on in lady."

He opened the door, "Thank you so much," she said walking into the palace.

Next thing you know, one of the guards ran to where Zarbon and Apple where, "Zarbon?" he yelled.

Zarbon frowned at him, "What I'm in the middle of a conversation!"

"A lady is here to see you." The guard replied.

"Oh no not another fanatic," Zarbon then wrapped a towel around his waist, "Tell her to go to my room, I need to have a little talk with this fanatic of mine." Zarbon said.

Moments later, Zarbon was in his room dressed, and then there was a knock on the door. "Come in!" He said.

The same young woman walked into the room and shut the door behind her, she then sat down on the bed with him, "You wanted to see me?" he asked staring at her as if he wanted to get some.

"Wait before you think about having sex with me, I need to tell you something first."

Zarbon smiled, "What that you wanted to do it over the covers?" he laughed, of course it was a joke, Zarbon wasn't the most funniest nor the most sleaziest person on the planet, in actuality he was kind of shy when it came to the opposite sex.

"Zarbon my name is Miretta, and I'm your half younger sister," she said.

Zarbon's eyes grew wide, "What? Nice try, where did you come up with one like that?"

She rolled her eyes, "My father's name is Morphiess, and he's the king of Planet Primal." She said.

Zarbon panicked, "What how would you know?" he asked.

"Father sent me here to rescue you, and he said don't come back without him!"

Zarbon then looked at the unfortunate girl, "You made a big mistake coming here my dear, I'm not moving in with that perverted father of ours!" Zarbon said crossing his arms.

"Look he's very sorry; please let me stay until you give in!" Miretta said.

"I'm telling you Miretta, I don't want to be near him, he hurt my mum," he said snorting.

"He only cheated on her and he cheated on my mum too, she left me with him, I haven't talked with her since. My you've grown handsome, you look a little like father." Miretta said.

"Yah I could have his good looks, and big bones!" he said mad.

"I've always wanted to meet you; he recently told me that I have an older half brother that has a different mother." She said.

"Tell me more," Zarbon said.

"He was ten years older than your mother, Freezer may have loved her, but she didn't love him and she beat him up." Miretta said.

"Wow, you're pretty, how old are you?" asked Zarbon.

"I'm fifteen." Miretta said.

Hours later they went to get a DNA test, and it was positive, she was in fact his half younger sister whom he never heard about, then they talked some more, "I remember when we used to go on vacations. Father owned a dance club for a little while and got even richer off it, and he owned a record company, but he can't sing." Miretta laughed.

"Oh this is wonderful! I have a sister! I've always wanted a brother or a sister! Come here you!" Zarbon then hugged her tightly. "Come on, I'll show you around!" he took her by the hand and they went out of his room.

They were holding hands in the hallway, "Just one minute there!" Freezer yelled at the top of his lungs.

"Hello Freezer," Zarbon said.

"Who's the girl, is she your girlfriend?" asked Freezer enraged.

"No even better she's my half-sister!" Zarbon said.

Freezer laughed, "Oh I can't see the resemblance." Freezer said looking at both of them.

"This is my adoptive father and master Freezer, he adopted me when my mother gave me to him, and I was only three. Freezer this is Miretta, can she stay please? Please? Please?" asked Zarbon.

Now sometimes while Freezer usually let Zarbon get away with what he wanted, he also said no, "Oh I suppose so!" Freezer said.

"Thank you lord Freezer!" Zarbon said. Hours later, Zarbon finished with the tour, "That completes the tour," he finished.

"Wow, you're actually the heir to the empire of Freezer, and a slave at the same time?" asked Miretta confused.

"Yes why aren't you father's slave too?" asked Zarbon.

Miretta burst out laughing, "No absolutely not, he treats me well and doesn't order me around like a slave." Miretta said.

Just then, Kiwi and Apple came up to them, "Hey Zarbon, who's this?" asked Kiwi.

"This is my half younger sister Miretta, Miretta these are my two best friends Apple and Kiwi." Zarbon said.

"Nice to meet you too," She said.

"Hi," said Apple blushing a little bit.

"Let's go meet my cousins!" Zarbon said they headed to the main thrown room.

King Cold, Cooler and Salsa were already in the throne room, and then Zarbon and Miretta came into the throne room, "Guys this is my half younger sister Miretta, Miretta this is my adoptive grandfather King Cold, my uncle Cooler and my cousin Salsa." Zarbon said.

"Wow she's lovely!" Salsa said.

Cooler got off the thrown and walked over to her and grabbed her hand startling her a little bit, "Pleasure to meet you." He kissed her hand.

"Sure." Miretta said.

King Cold was a dimwit even though he ruled the planet, but Freezer was pretty much the ruler when it came right down to it, "Zarbon, she seems like a nice girl, so we're keeping her!" he yelled.

Miretta's eyes grew wide and she smiled awkwardly, "Thank you sir!"

Then it happened, Dodoria and Shasha, better known as Zarbon's traitor, rapist, and from planet Cyrillic came in, they were laughing about something unknown then they stopped laughing as soon as they saw Zarbon's sister. "Yah those two you might want to watch out for, they're really dangerous and brutal. I'll do my best to protect you from them. " Zarbon said.

She whispered into his ear, "They scare me all ready, especially that blue one who is our species." She was refereeing to Shasha, who had dark blue skin, thick lips, a hooked nose, thick blue eyebrows, piercing red eyes, and if that was not intimating enough, then that scar on his face going across his eyebrow and his cheek is what did it.

"Who Shasha? I can handle them, Dodoria is the pink demoniac looking alien, and you might want to watch out for Freezer too. Let's go to the bar shall we?" He said as they then started for the door, Miretta held onto Zarbon's arm tightly staring at the floor; she did not seem to notice that Shasha was staring at her when they walked out, who knows what that lustful fool was thinking.

"Who was she?" Shasha asked in his deep, raspy Russian voice.

"That was Zarbon's younger half sister Miretta." Salsa said.

Shasha smiled a little bit, "Miretta hum, beautiful name," he laughed a little and walked out of the throne room.

At the bar, Zarbon and Miretta were talking while Zarbon was drinking a beer and Miretta was drinking a root beer. "I can't believe that happened to you," she said.

"Well yah," he took a sip of his beer.

All the sudden that stupid rapist Shasha came into the bar and walked over to Zarbon and Miretta, "Hello Zarbon." He said.

Zarbon was immediately suspicious, "What do you want Shasha?" he asked.

Shasha looked over at Miretta and smiled, "Oh dear where are my manners? I believe we haven't been fully introduced, my name Shasha, so are you his girlfriend?" he asked.

"No I'm his half younger sister, my name is Miretta!" she said shivering at the sound of his voice.

"You know Zarbon, your sister very pretty." Shasha said.

That is when Zarbon got pissed, "Leave her alone you hear me?" Zarbon said.

Shasha just ignored Zarbon and listened to the music playing, "Do you want to dance?" he asked.

"No thank you, I can't dance," she said.

Shasha chuckled, "Oh your sister not only pretty but so sweet too. Come on sweetheart, don't you want to talk to me at all?" he asked, she just ignored him.

"Come on Zarbon can we go now?" she asked.

"Why don't you answer me when I'm talking to you sooka?" he asked angry with her, he pushed her down into the booth.

"Shasha get off of her!" Zarbon yelled.

"I can't do that," he tried to touch her boob, but then she slapped him in the face. "Man bitch!" he then punched her in the face.

Zarbon got so mad that he picked Shasha up and threw him across the room, "Don't you dare touch my sister again!" he yelled and then took her by the hand and led her out of the bar.

Zarbon and Miretta walked into the room and Miretta sat down on Zarbon's bed, "Did he hurt you?" asked Zarbon.

She cried rather pathetically, "Yes he did!" she said.

"Oh you poor thing, you're bleeding. I'll get you some bandages." Zarbon said he went to get some bandages and he dressed her wound, "You know it's not your fault you were hit, I mean Freezer sometimes sexually abuses me, but I've pretty much had it with Shasha. Remember you don't have to do anything you don't want to, ok?" asked Zarbon.

"Why are you giving me the sex lecture? I get enough of that from dad!" she said.

Zarbon's eyes grew wide, "I have a mission to go on," he said.

"To kill people?" she asked.

He turned around and looked at her sadly, "Miretta, you have to remember that I'm not the best influence, but I'm a slave too and I have to follow Freezer's orders, only God knows what he'll do to me if I don't. " he said.

"Why don't you just run away?" she asked.

"Trust me I've tried it, at least twelve times, each time I was caught and whipped on the back, he said the next time I do, he'll track me down and kill me." Zarbon said.

"Some adoptive father you have!" she said.

"He doesn't like it when people betray him; I will admit that I hate killing people more than anything. I want you to meet a friend of mine," Zarbon said.

"A friend?" She asked.

"Of course, I'll go get her now." Zarbon said, and then he came back with Liya.

"I want you to meet my friend Liya, I've known her since we were kids," Zarbon said.

Liya shook her hand, "Nice to meet you Miretta, I've heard that you were here," Liya said.

"Charmed," Miretta said.

Zarbon looked seriously at Liya, "Don't let Shasha get to her ok?" with that Zarbon left.

"Ok, shall we go swimming or just relax in the hot tub?" asked Liya.

"Sure, but I didn't pack a suit, I didn't expect to stay," Miretta said.

"You can borrow one of mine," Liya said.

"Thank you so much!" Miretta said.

The next day, Zarbon was back from his mission, he was in his room smirking at his reflection in the mirror, half-naked, "Hello Gorgeous, I'm just so stuck on myself, but I wish I wasn't. Oh well nobody else is around." Zarbon said aloud smiling and twirling in front of the mirror.

There was a knock on the door, "Who is it?" asked Zarbon.

"It's me Shasha, Freezer wants to see you!" he said nervously.

"Ok hold on," he got the door, but Shasha barged in and shut the door behind him.

"I was fucking with you; Freezer doesn't want to see you at all!" Shasha said.

"Well what do you want?" asked Zarbon.

He looked around, "I was wondering where your beautiful little sister is!" he laughed sleazy.

"She's with Liya!" Zarbon said.

"I didn't say with whom, I said where!" Shasha said.

"I'm not going to tell you!" Zarbon said.

"Fine I'll ask someone else!" he then got so pissed off that he grabbed Zarbon's vanity, threw it across the room, and went out of the room.

Zarbon looked a little shocked, "Oh well I needed a new mirror anyways! Good thing I got this small sized vanity!" he then took his small vanity out and looked at himself even more.

Shasha bumped into Salsa in the hallway, "Excuse me Salsa, I'm looking for Liya, have you seen her?" he asked.

"Why do you care you commie!" Salsa asked.

"You better answer me or else I will kick your ass hybrid!" he yelled.

"Ok fine don't get violent, she's in the spa area with Liya, she's been there yesterday too with her." He said.

"Oh thank you!" Shasha yelled.

In the spa area, Miretta and Liya were in the same hot tub soaking wet, "So why don't you just say you like Zarbon to his face, you're pretty," Miretta said.

"How very kind of you to say that, but alas he didn't even want to get back with me even after my husband and daughter were beheaded. Besides he only sees us as friends now," she said.

"Are all of Freezer's men charming and gentle like him?" Miretta asked.

"Not all of them, some act like wild animals, uh it sickens me! So do you have a boyfriend?" asked Liya.

"I've had a few yes, but they only like me because they claim that I'm cute and have big boobs." Miretta looked a little sad.

"Yah I have the same problems, Zarbon seems to be the only one who dated me for my intelligence, and not just for my good looks. Although he did say that I have nice big boobs for a Carpathian," Liya then laughed and looked at Miretta who wasn't laughing, "What's the matter you look down in the dumps," she said.

"Oh when Zarbon was introducing me to everyone in the main thrown room, I felt like I was home again, until this pink alien came in laughing along with a dark, blue, Russian man. Later on, when Zarbon and I were at the bar that Russian came over trying to act all charming, but he's too terrifying to look at. He has a scar on his cheek and he's so scary and tough looking, he then started flirting with me, and then he pushed me when I wouldn't sit down. So I slapped him and he punched me back, then Zarbon beat him up and he took me away from the bar," Miretta said.

"You mean Shasha?" asked Liya.

"Yes him, whatever his name is! So dangerous and sexy at the same time!" she said, she then covered her mouth.

Liya looked at her funny, "How old are you?" she asked Miretta a little worried.

"I'm fifteen," she said.

"Well he should watch what he's doing you know, he doesn't know how to act around women and neither does Dodoria. However Shasha usually hates girls, he likes to hurt them in various ways that I won't repeat." Liya said.

"He is a strange person, but he looks so mean and so sexy at the same time!" she covered her mouth again.

"Don't worry Miretta if he tries to touch you again I'll handle it, it's no problem," Liya said.

Just then Shasha had to show up, he was in his swim shorts and his muscular body covered in scars everywhere on it, "Mind if I join you?" he asked.

He jumped into the hot tub, Liya was annoyed by his presence, "Shasha what are you doing here?" she asked.

"I just wanted to take dip is all, is that crime?" he asked sarcastically.

"There are twenty other hot tubs and heated pools you know! There is also a bar in the middle of one of the heated pools! You like it so well, so why don't you go there, I'm sure Dodoria is waiting for you," she said.

"I would have gone to bar, but I decided to chat instead." Shasha said.

"Look Shasha we were talking here, so go bug someone else ok?" Liya said.

"Liya go get us some drinks in the pool ok? I'll pay you back later," he said putting his arms behind his head.

Liya then smiled, the thought of an alcoholic drink did not sound bad at all to her, "Ok, Miretta what do you want?" she asked.

"I'll have a coke, I don't drink," she said.

"What do you want Shasha?" asked Liya.

"Vodka," Shasha said.

Liya rolled her eyes, "Whatever." she then got out of the hot tub and went down to the pool bar.

"Hello Miretta," Shasha said.

She flushed with embarrassment, "Hello," she said.

"Sorry about what I did yesterday," he said.

"It's ok I guess," she looked away from him a little embarrassed and scared.

"What's the matter? Are you homesick?" he asked.

"A little," she said.

"I get homesick sometimes too, I miss my home planet," he said.

"Where are you from?" she asked,

"Planet Cyrillic or what humans call Planet Russia 2," he said.

"So you're actually Russian I guess," she said.

"Yes and proud of it!" he said.

"Are you a primal changeling too?" she asked.

"Yes of course I am, and I'm so fond of it." He said.

"Right," she looked to see if Liya had gotten those drinks.

"Ever hear of using eye contact?" he asked.

"No, where's Liya, she should be back with those drinks by now!" Miretta said still looking for Liya.

"We're getting off subject," he moved closer to her, "Are you afraid of me?" he asked.

She eyed him all funny, "No not really, I think I should go," she said about to leave, but he blocked her way.

"I know I'm not all that attractive, but oh well what can I do about it? At least I'm not vain like your brother, I'm modest person." He said.

She looked at his chest and arms; they also had scars, "Wow nice scars." She said.

"You like? Freezer gave them to me, I'm so proud of them!" he said.

"Oh you poor thing," she said. Shasha then looked at her funny.

"Did you know that Miretta means beautiful flower in Russian?" he asked, of course it did not really mean it.

"No really?" she asked.

"Yah really," he then went under water and came back up with hair all soaking wet, it almost looked hot and at the same time intimidating to Miretta, being a naïve girl that she was.

"I honestly should go now," she said.

"Come on, I'm not so bad once you get to know me," he smiled and tried to stroke his hand on her check, then she went under water before he could, "Damn!" he said.

Miretta came back up, "I have to go!" she yelled.

Just then, finally Liya came back with everyone's drinks, "All right what did you do Shasha?" she asked annoyed.

"Nothing, we were just talking Liya!" he said.

Liya looked at Miretta. "Are you all right?" Liya asked.

"No he didn't hurt me or anything, I'm just not feeling well all the sudden!" she got out of the hot tub, got a towel, and left the spa area.

"Miretta your drink!" yelled Liya.

"What did I do?" asked Shasha.

"You probably frightened the poor thing, yes she tells me she's scared of you because you're tough and mean- looking, but at the same time she is rather intrigued by you." She said.

"Look is there any way that you can get me hooked up with her?" asked Shasha.

"No she all ready has a boyfriend!" Liya said.

"What's his name?" asked Shasha.

"You think I'd tell you?" asked Liya.

"Well I must know," Shasha said.

"Ok she's single, she's not interested in you at all, here's your vodka!" she gave him his vodka, he snatched it from her and gulped the whole thing down.

"I'll make her interested in me somehow!" he said.

"Let it go Shasha, just let it go! Now pay me the money you promised me!" Liya said.

"Actually I consider that a free drink, thank you Liya." He said.

She was now more annoyed and mad than ever, "Oh you'll pay for this!" she yelled.

"You already have!" he laughed "In the mean time I'm going now!" he got out of the hot tub and dried himself off and left the area.

Shasha and Dodoria were sitting at the bar, around midnight drinking and talking about business about conquering planets and so forth. "So then I was on top of the Hipposud and then I banged his head against the rock and it cracked his brain easily!" Dodoria said laughing.

"Yah that's nothing new," Shasha looked a little depressed.

"What's wrong with you? You looked depressed, come on spit it out!" Dodoria said, after all Shasha was his best friend in the whole wide universe.

"Oh nothing," Shasha sighed.

"Are you talking about when Freezer whips us for disobeying orders, right?" asked Dodoria.

"Not even close." Shasha said.

"Well what is it then?" asked Dodoria impatiently.

"I think I'm well you know." Shasha said drinking vodka; he was getting somewhat tipsy.

"In too deep?" asked Dodoria.

Shasha had no idea what he fuck he was talking about, "No, love you dimwit!" he yelled.

"With whom, with Freezer?" asked Dodoria.

"No you idiot! You know that pretty girl that we saw yesterday that Zarbon walked out of thrown room with!" Shasha said annoyed.

"Oh you mean his sister, yah I bet Zarbon would really love that," Dodoria said.

"Well she, according to Liya said that she found me sexy, and then she said that she found me horrible to look at." Shasha said.

"I thought you cared nothing about the way you looks." Dodoria said.

"I don't, but so many girls and women laughed at me, because of that stupid scar that my mother gave to me, on my face! She scratched me hard Dodoria, pretty hard! Oh how she abused me!" Shasha said.

"Wait get to the point!" Dodoria said.

"Fine, Miretta noticed that I had scars all over my body, and when I told her that Freezer put them there, she felt sorry for me! No girl has ever been nice to me!" Shasha said.

"That's because you're mean to them silly. Well my stupid ex-wives all divorced me because they claimed that I was too stupid and lazy. Oh and they did not like the fact that I gained weight either. Oh but I love to eat Shasha!" Dodoria said.

Shasha rolled his eyes, "Well this different, I want her to like me, Liya said she liked me, how do I get her to like me?" asked Shasha.

"Well have you ever considered one of those primal changeling rituals?" asked Dodoria getting drunker and drunker by the moment.

"Forget it, we don't use that ritual anymore, it's ancient as me!" Shasha said.

"Ok then tell her that you like her!" Dodoria said.

"She knows I like her!" Shasha said.

"Well then I can't help you there!" Dodoria then fell to the ground asleep on the floor, Shasha got up and looked at his friend sleeping.

"Of course you can't, you're too dumb!" Shasha then stumbled out of the bar to his room.

Next morning, early in the morning, Miretta was in Zarbon's room asleep, and Zarbon came into the room, and looked at her sleeping, she looked like such an angel asleep like that, for once in his life, he could love another relative other than his mother, who died when he was three. "Good morning Zarbon!" she then got out of bed, but she was naked and Zarbon eyes grew wide.

"Oh my God, will you please cover yourself?" he then took his cape off and wrapped it around her naked body.

"Sorry," she said.

"Why aren't you with Liya?" asked Zarbon.

"We were minding our own business in the hot tub, then Shasha interrupted our girl talk and he was in swim shorts Zarbon, swim shorts! Well the point is that he came into our hot tub and he told Liya to get us some drinks and she did! Then she starts up a conversation with me, then she starts putting moves on me, then he got his hair wet, then Liya came back, then I just left, it was too awkward! I've been hiding here for about four hours now, I mean he's so ugly, yet so hot at the same time!" she covered her mouth up.

Zarbon looked at her funny, "Why are you naked?" asked Zarbon.

Miretta looked down to the ground, "I would have put your boxer shorts on, but I didn't know if you would let me." She said innocently.

"I'll get you a guard, you're staying here! I need to go on another mission then I think you need to leave this planet forever!" he said.

"But I like it here I don't want to go back home! I like being around you, I never thought I had a brother and now that I found you, I can't leave without you, I promised father!" she said.

"Sorry but you have to stay here until I get back." Zarbon said.

"I want to go with you on that mission!" she said.

"No it's too dangerous, you're not well trained enough to take on other species." Zarbon said.

"Is Shasha going too? Oh, I am so scared to death of them, his face and, and...his personality!" she looked like she was floating in space.

"That's why I'm assigning you one of my men to escort you any place you go. No, I do not believe that Shasha is going on a mission today. Yah he'll be here, don't worry only a few of Freezer's men are dangerous, while the others are outstanding gentlemen and I'm one of them. I know very well whom to trust, I'll be right back." He said.

She grabbed onto his arm again, "No don't leave me here! I feel safer around you!" She begged.

Zarbon sighted then smiled, "Ok let's go see what Apple is up to today, in the mean time get some cloths on!"

Zarbon and Miretta were in the hallway again, and they came to Apple's room, Zarbon knocked on the door, the door then slide open and Apple stepped out, "Hello Zarbon," he said smiling.

"Are you doing anything today?" he asked.

"Nothing why?" Apple asked.

Zarbon looked at Miretta, "Well I'm leaving on a mission and I need you to take care of my sister ok? Escort her wherever she goes, if anyone tries to attack or hurt her, then tell them that I'll have their head on a platter you got it?" Zarbon said.

"Yes sir, she'll be fine." Apple said.

"Ok bye guys." Zarbon hugged Miretta tightly, kissed her on the check, and took off.

Apple then looked at Miretta. "It's ok Miretta, I won't get intimate with you or put moves on you, you have my word on it!" Apple said.

She laughed, "Ok that's fine with me!"

"Let's go get something to eat, I'm starving!" Apple said.

"Ok sure!" and with that they went to the restaurant a couple of blocks down the hall.

End of Part 1


	2. Chapter 2

_Then She Came Along, part 2_

Apple and Miretta were in the restaurant in the north part of the palace, it was a nice place, not too savvy, "So do you like fish?" asked Apple looking at the menu.

"Yes I do, do they have a Man-a-War, you know jellyfish?" asked Miretta.

Apple's eyes grew wide, "No I don't think that they have that here," he said.

"So when did you and Zarbon become friends?" asked Miretta.

"Since the day I started working here, when he was five, or was is six? Freezer hired me to babysit Zarbon, and become his personal henchman when he got older. Kiwi already knew his mom, and he was friends with her, yah and…." Apple saw Freezer approaching, "Uh oh here comes trouble." He said.

Freezer came over to the table, "Hello Apple, what are you up to?" he asked with a grin on his face.

"We were just talking Freezer, Zarbon asked me to guard his sister, and he strongly felt like she needed a body guard." Apple said.

"Oh did he?" asked Freezer with a glare on his face.

"He said if anyone hurt or even touched her, then he's have their head on a platter." Apple said.

"I'm the only one who can say who lives and dies! Besides I have no interest in his slutty sister, and another thing, you're not taking Zarbon back to Planet Primal; he's mine you hear me, stay away from him!" Freezer covered his mouth, "Did that just come out of my mouth, so silly me, I'll be going now." he then walked away.

"What a jerk, oh God my eyes are getting watery!" Miretta started crying.

"Oh God, she's just like her brother! Miretta don't cry, he insults me too and I never have liked him. I know that for one second that Zarbon doesn't like him either." Apple said.

"I'm sorry it's just that I have a weakness for crying, I'm pretty sensitive about my feelings being hurt." She said.

"I can tell." Apple said he then took a sip from his straw.

"Plus, Shasha has been harassing me and he hit me once, I don't know what his problem is. Now he's following me around all over the place!" Miretta said sighing.

Apple's eyes grew big, "He's pretty brutal I guess he doesn't take rejection very well. Sounds like he has a crush on you!" he laughed and then stopped, "But Shasha doesn't really like women anyways, he could just be messing with you." he took a sip of his coke again through that straw and then cracked a smile.

"Hello, oh my darling Miretta come to me! How long I waited for you to show me some affection!" Apple joked in a bad Russian accent, he then laughed.

"That's not funny! Last night he came into the hot tub with Liya and I and he put moves on me! I ran out as soon as I could! I spent the rest of the night in Zarbon's room naked!" she yelled everyone around her looked at her, "Sorry did I say that out loud?" She asked.

Apple stared at her, taking another sip out of his straw. "I didn't need to know that," Apple said.

"God he's so mean, and so sexy at the same time, isn't matting season?" asked Miretta.

"Uh I think that just applies to animals," Apple said looking worried.

"That raspy, deep voice uh and the Russian accent, I always love men with foreign accents! " she said.

"Uh pardon me if I sound a bit confused but do you like him or something?" asked Apple.

"No of course not why do you say such a thing?" asked Miretta flushing.

"Yah he freaks me out too, you what else if freaky? Just between you and me, I was at the bar last night at midnight drinking whisky. I overheard a conversation between Shasha and Dodoria talking about you! Shasha sounded like he was madly in love with you! He said that no one was ever nice to him like you were." Apple said.

"Oh he did? Yes!" all the sudden Apple stared at her as if she was some kind of idiot, "I mean, what a creep, nope, don't like him at all!" she said crossing her arms.

Kiwi was outside the restaurant when all the sudden Shasha came up to him, "Pardon me Kiwi, but I'm looking for very lovely, beautiful young woman that goes by name Miretta! Have you seen her around?" he asked sounding desperate.

"I'm not supposed to tell you where she is, unless you give me twenty bucks." Kiwi said.

Shasha grabbed Kiwi by the neck and lifted him up, "You don't understand I want her so badly!" Shasha said.

"Ok fine she's in the restraint with Apple!" Kiwi said hoping that Shasha would let go.

"До свидания!" Shasha shouted, and with that, he threw Kiwi to the side and went into the restraint.

He then spotted Apple and Miretta, and then started walking over to them, Apple caught sight of Shasha, "Oh shit, don't look behind you, but he's here." Apple said.

"Who?" asked Miretta.

"Your boyfriend!" Apple said.

Miretta turned and looked behind her, "Oh God what are we going to do?" she asked flushing.

"Oh God he's coming, act natural!" Apple said.

Shasha was right behind Miretta. "Oh so you say that Zarbon is a cool brother, how fantastic!" said Apple laughing.

"Hello Apple!" Shasha then walked behind him.

Apple screamed like a scared little girl, "Oh hello Shasha I didn't see you there!" he said looking up at him.

"Oh you sound like woman when you scream!" he then started laughing.

"Oh yah you sound like you have two frogs in your throat!" Apple said standing up looking up at Shasha.

"Why you little!" Shasha said frowning.

"Leave him alone!" Miretta yelled.

Shasha looked over at her and smiled, "Wow how spicy, looks like I got pretty helpless woman on menu!" he said.

"Hey leave her alone! You know you'll never have her! She doesn't like you!" Apple said.

"Says who?" asked Shasha.

"Says me, I'm her bodyguard and I'll protect her with my life, if you go near her or touch her, your head will end up on a platter!" Apple said yelling bravely at the 6'2 Shasha whereas Apple was only about 5'4.

"Says who?" Shasha asked again.

"Says Zarbon, oh yah he gave me a message to tell you what I just said!" Apple said gulping.

"Oh shut up!" Shasha punched Apple in the face.

"Hey that wasn't nice!" said Miretta.

"Apple I can't believe that Zarbon ever trusted you, you're not professional bodyguard! You're loser, I don't care what Zarbon said! His threats don't scare me, so get out of my way already!" Shasha said.

Apple got up and held his fists up, "No, put them up! Come on you big sissy put them up!" he said.

Shasha cracked his knuckles, picked Apple up, and kissed him on the lips, "Nighty night!" he then threw him into the wall knocking him unconscious.

Shasha laughed and looked over at Miretta and smiled, "Hello Miretta, oh you look very beautiful! Oh, what's wrong? All I want to do is go out with you! So will you marry me?" he asked.

"No I just met you! Zarbon told me to stay away from you!" she said backing up.

"Oh he did, did he? Well he really doesn't know about me anyways!" he said.

"You better get out of here now or else I will scratch you!" she said.

He laughed, "Oh Miretta, I have no interest in really hurting you, but I may well have to, what I'm trying to say is…. Oh wait I can't!" he said hiding his face behind his hands.

"What Shasha, what is it?" Miretta asked impatiently.

"I love you! I mean who wouldn't love you, I'm only fifty years old and you're fifteen, at least I think I'm fifty." He said confused.

"You're so sick, you need help, and to think that I wanted to have sex with you!" she said. Everyone looked at her again, "Oh not again! Damn it!" she said.

"I don't need help, I need you! I'm very lonely, I want to be with you so badly!" he said.

"I don't even speak Russian!" she said.

"I'm very fluent in English, you don't need to learn Russian to be with me!" he said.

"Get away from me you pervert!" she said backing further away.

"I want you, I need you so baldy!" he said trying to gain some sympathy.

"No I hate you! You make me very uncomfortable!" she yelled, he moved closer to her, "I don't like you anymore! I never really have liked you!" she hid under the table. "You scare me to death!" she said.

"Oh do I? I could do so much worst! " He said everyone was staring at them now, "What the hell are you looking at?" Everyone ran out of the restaurant. "Good now where were we, oh yes!" He said.

Miretta ran out from under the table trying to get away, but Shasha grabbed her, "Let me go!" she yelled.

"I don't want to! I've been thinking about you day and night!" he said.

"I haven't even been here that long!" she said.

"I don't care all I know is that I want you!" he said.

All the sudden she started changing shape, she was not pretty any longer, she was bulky, or at least good-sized, she had claws and she appeared to be reptilian- like, she scratched Shasha in the face and hissed. "Oh you want to bring out animal in me, then I will!" he said, all the sudden he started changing shape he too looked reptilian like, ugly, and was bulkier and a little taller too, "If I can catch you I win and you'll be mine!" his Russian accent sounded even more raspier and deeper to.

"Try to get me, bitch!" she yelled in her now raspy British accent. She then started running around the room and Shasha caught up to her and they started clawing at each other, when Shasha caught her spikes actually came out of her back and stabbed Shasha in the stomach, "Take that Shasha!" she yelled.

"Ouch you bitch! That hurt, but it won't do you any good!" he then threw her across the room and the wounds went away as soon as they appeared.

Zarbon ran into the restraint after hearing a bunch of commotion from across the hall, he went over to Apple who was still unconscious, "Please wake up Apple!" he then slapped him in the face.

Apple woke up, "Zarbon is that you?" he asked.

"Yes it's me! What happened here? Where is Miretta?" asked Zarbon.

"Shasha followed us, I tried to stop him, but he got out of control! I'm so sorry forgiving me!" he said.

"It's okay you did your best! I'll take on Shasha now!" Zarbon walked over to him and Shasha turned around.

"It's you, you little vain ermine!" he said to Zarbon showing his fangs.

"Oh no you're both transformed, but never mind I have to fight you!" Zarbon tried to take on Shasha, but Shasha kicked him in the face and he went flying to the opposite side of the room.

"Zarbon!" yelled Miretta.

Zarbon got up, "You're going to get it now!" he ran over to Shasha, who again kicked him in the stomach.

"Zarbon you have to transform or else he's going to kill you!" yelled Apple. 

"No I can't, not this time!" he ran towards Shasha again and then Shasha punched him in the face and started kicking him in the gut again.

"You won't win this one glamour puss! You're too much of pussy to look ugly! Prove that you're more of pussy by losing fight to me!" Shasha was about to beat him up again.

"There is one flaw in your plan!" Zarbon said.

"What's that?" asked Shasha.

"I'm a Primal Changeling too!" all the sudden Zarbon jumped into the air and transformed into that ugly creature, scales, claws and all.

Now it was a real fight, "Don't you ever call me a pussy you drunk commie!" he then started beating the crap out of the Shasha, pulled him by the hair and threw him across the room.

Shasha then got up and scratched Zarbon in the face, "Ops." Shasha said sarcastically smiling.

Zarbon put his hand on his face and could see that it had blood on it, "Oh no you didn't!" Zarbon then scratched him twice as much, there was much roaring, hissing and clawing that it was hard at times to see who was winning.

"Everything you taught me is right here!" Zarbon said in his now scratchy voice, he then hissed like a domestic cat and scratched Shasha some more and then grabbed him by the head and hit it again the floor a bunch of times, until the tile broke up.

Shasha was out cold, and Zarbon transformed back into his normal looking self and so did Miretta. "You're guilty of hurting my sister; the only thing I'm guilty of is trying to protect her! But there is one fact that has never been proven; I'm not a damn pussy!" Zarbon then spit on Shasha.

"Come on Miretta, Apple let's get out of here! " he grabbed Miretta by the wrist and ran out of the restraint with Apple following them.

Zarbon, Miretta and Apple were in front of Zarbon's door to his room, "Is everyone all right?" asked Zarbon.

"Yes I am, look I'm very sorry that I let him get to Miretta!" Apple said wiping some blood off his head.

"It's okay Apple I forgive you, now based on what just happened Apple you have to guard the door to my room, at least until we get Miretta packed for Planet Primal," Zarbon said.

"Yes sir!" Apple said saluting him.

"I'm not going back!" she said.

"Oh yes you are, Miretta you stay in my room, lock the door, don't let anyone in you understand me?" Zarbon said.

She sighed, "Yes brother dear." She said with a disappointed look on her face.

"I have another mission to go on, I can't protect Miretta at all times, Apple make sure that Shasha doesn't go into my room okay?" asked Zarbon.

"Ay ay mon capitan!" Apple saluted him again.

"Good now I have to go!" Zarbon then left.

Shasha was hiding behind a corner listening the whole time; he walked up to Apple, "So we meet again Apple in most odd circumstances!" Shasha said.

"Oh no you again?" asked Apple.

"Listen, I just want to apologize to Miretta for being so weird towards her, you see Dodoria told me about old mating ritual for Primal Changelings and I…." before Shasha could finish, Apple interrupted.

"I'm not falling for that one! I'm not that stupid, I can't let you in Shasha!" Apple said.

"Oh yes you can!" Shasha grabbed Apple and threw him into the wall and he walked into the sliding doors.

Miretta was asleep snoring loudly, Shasha just smiled at her and walked over to her and tapped her on the shoulder. She woke up only to find to her horror that Shasha was standing over her looking at her. "Oh my God it's you! Oh no I must be having a nightmare!" she said.

"Shut up! You're not dreaming it's really me!" he said.

"What do you want from me?" she asked.

"I'm so sorry for acting weird towards you, again. It was mating ritual is all." He said.

"What?" asked Miretta.

"You know old mating ritual that two primal changelings that like each other get violent during mating. I thought I was going to mate with you for sure, but I guess I was wrong." He said.

"But we're more like humans then animals; your data is a little bit outdated I'm afraid." She said.

"You see the thing is that I have a sexual personality disorder which makes me act funny and violent towards women, especially since they've been mean to me when I was child. I get nervous when I'm around them, and my mother abused me, and I never knew my father." He said with sadness in his eyes.

"Oh how awful," she said taking pity on him.

"The worst part is that I really do love you, you're prettiest girl I've ever laid my eyes on you!" he said.

"Well I don't know what to say except that I am a little bit flattered." She said smiling.

"I want you to be mine and nobody else's." he said.

"I'll think about it." She said.

"Goody! Let me know your answer when you come to me!" he then got up.

"Whatever I guess," She said, "Whatever my Miretta." He looked sadly at her and left the room.

Apple ran into the room, "Miretta are you ok? Did he hurt you? Rape you? Did he act weird towards you again with that odd mating ritual bullshit?" asked Apple.

"None of that stuff, he opened up to me like I hoped he would." Miretta said smiling.

"You mean in a good way or bad way?"Apple asked.

"In a good way I suppose, well he apologized to me, how gentleman of him to, he told me that he was nerviest around girls! I think I might be… oh never mind!" she said.

"Oh good, now let's get you packed," Apple said.

"I'm not going!" she said.

"You have to Zarbon said so!" Apple said.

"Well I think I'm in love with Shasha, he seems to like me!" she said.

Apple's eyes widen and his mouth dropped, "What are you crazy? You don't know him like Zarbon and I do, he likes to hurt women, why do you want him?" asked Apple.

"I feel sorry for him, he actually didn't say anything about my breasts being so big and all!" she said.

"There are plenty of fish in the sea Miretta, why did you have to choose this one?" asked Apple.

"He is actually kind of cute you know, maybe fate brought us together you know. My father sent me here to rescue my brother, and I met him. My father says that things happen for a reason." Miretta said batting her eyes.

"Oh brother, I'm telling Zarbon on you! Oh shit I forgot about Zarbon!" Apple said.

"Tell him, see what I care!" Miretta said.

"Ok fine I'll just do that, in the mean time start packing your bags!" Apple said about to walk away, all the sudden Miretta pushed Apple out of the way and ran to find Shasha.

"Miretta get back here! No I must go get Zarbon, hopefully he hasn't left yet!" Apple said running down the hall.

Meanwhile Zarbon was at the space pod grounds about to get into a space pod when all the sudden Apple grabbed him and they both went to the ground, but Zarbon was on poor Apple squishing him. Zarbon got up and so did Apple, "What is the meaning of this? Freezer will get mad at me if I fail to go on this mission!" Zarbon asked.

"It's about Miretta!" yelled Apple.

"What did Shasha hurt her?" asked Zarbon.

"More like brainwashed her!" Apple said.

Zarbon lifted an eyebrow, "In other words?"

"In other words there is no good way to put this, but I'll have to do my best to tell you, Miretta has somehow fallen in love with Shasha!" Apple said sulking.

"What? You're kidding right?" asked Zarbon enraged.

"No I'm not, she said it herself!" Apple said.

"Oh no she's doomed!" Zarbon said.

"Yah and she started talking about this fate crap, how we were meant to be together she says!" Apple said mocking Miretta.

"Oh God I'm a bad brother!" Zarbon said.

"You're not a bad brother; Shasha sure makes it look like it though." Apple said.

"We better do something!" Zarbon said.

Shasha was at the bar drinking vodka, then Miretta showed up, "Shasha!" she said.

He turned around, surprised to see her, "Miretta? What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I've thought it over and I want to marry you, I've decided yes!" she said with enthusiasm.

"Ok good, let's get married right now!" he hugged her tightly.

Zarbon ran into the bar with Apple, "Stop! Miretta!" he said.

"Zarbon?" she said.

"You can't marry him!" Zarbon said.

"I'm old enough to make decisions on my own!" she said.

"You're crazy, you're blind you two just met!" then he sighed, "Ok fine it's your funeral," this was the first time ever in life that Zarbon ever gave up on something, and he lived to regret it.

In a private ceremony, Shasha and Miretta were ready to get married, Zarbon and Apple were the only ones attending, "I can't believe that Miretta is making the dumbest mistake of her life, the best thing about mistakes are that you can make up for them. She won't be able to make up for this one!" Zarbon said.

"She looks so beautiful, look at her coming down the aisle!" Apple started crying.

"I feel so sorry for her!" he said.

"Yah so do I!" Zarbon was pissed as we can imagine.

The Priest looked at the book of marriage, "We are gathered here today to bring this man and woman together in holy matrimony! Anyone who says these two shouldn't be joined, speak now or forever hold your piece!" he priest paused, "Oh good I can continue," he turned the page, "So Shasha do you take this woman to be your wife?" asked the priest.

"Yes I do!" he said.

"Ok do you Miretta take this man to be your husband?" the priest asked.

Miretta was having second thoughts, once they were married her life would be so screwed up, she started crying at the thought of it, Shasha looked at her all pissed off, "Well answer the man!" he then slapped her in the face, "Sorry she's nervous." He said.

"Yes I do!" she said.

"Now I pronounce you man and wife, you may kiss the bride," the priest said, Miretta was still crying.

"Well you heard the man!" Shasha then hit her again.

"Now that was uncalled for!" yelled Zarbon.

"It's all right Zarbon I'm just nervous!" she said.

Shasha then grabbed her and kissed her lips for a long time, and then the two walked away together.

Apple was crying so hard that he got out a hanky and blew his nose in it, "This is the worst wedding I've ever been to!" he said.

"Me too!" Zarbon said who was by now very pissed off.

A few weeks later, Miretta talked with Zarbon in his room, "So how is your marriage going with Shasha?" asked Zarbon a little concerned.

"Just fine, he's so protective of me, and when he's drunk he's just... well he's a little too protective." She rubbed her bruised arm, "Ouch!" she said.

"What happened to your arm?" asked Zarbon.

"I bumped into the wall when I was half asleep." She said smiling shyly.

Zarbon was already suspicious, "Whatever." He said.

That evening Shasha, Dodoria and Blueberry a wolf like creature were drinking and they were drunk and laughing. "Yah and Shasha that girlfriend of yours is pretty hot!" said Blueberry.

Shasha stopped laughing, got pissed off and grabbed Blueberry, "What did you say?" he asked.

"Your girlfriend's pretty hot!" he laughed some more.

"You stupid bastard!" Shasha then threw him across the room and ran over to him and started beating him up.

Dodoria was confused, "Shasha what has gotten into you?" he asked.

"He's been looking at my girlfriend Dodoria!" Shasha yelled.

"Duh I think she's pretty cute too! In fact I've been sleeping with her!" Dodoria laughed.

"What?" asked Shasha.

"I was just kidding let it go!" said Dodoria.

"I'll have your guts Dodoria!" he punched him and left.

Miretta was in Shasha's bathroom, she looked at her bruised arm, then Shasha came in and got into bed, "Shasha are you drunk again?" she asked.

"Shut up woman, does it look like I'm drunk? Did you sleep with Dodoria?" he asked.

"No why do you ask?" she said frightened.

"He said he was kidding, did you huh did you?" he asked again.

"No I'm telling the truth!" she insisted.

Shasha got up and walked up to her, "No you're not you little bitch!" he then punched her in the left eye.

"I'm being honest with you!" she said.

"Get into bed and go to sleep!" He yelled, and Miretta got into bed and the two went to sleep.

Next morning Miretta carefully got out of bed and Shasha who was half-asleep grabbed her arm tightly, "Where do you think you're going bitch?" he asked.

"To the bathroom!" she yelled.

"Ok, whatever." He then went back to sleep. Miretta went into the bathroom looking at her new black eye in the mirror and she sighed.

End of Story


	3. Chapter 3

**The Highway Man**

**Scene 1**

In the court room Freezer is slouching on his father's thrown drunk with chicken bones in his hand.

Freezer: Send in Zarbon that sexy muscular looking freak! (Pauses and continues to slur his words) Oh Zarbon!

Zarbon: (Comes running into the room, looks tired and has a grown a thin mustache) Freezer!

Freezer: Zarbon your timing couldn't have been more perfect! You've grown more beautiful every day, you're not a fat little kid like you used to be!

Zarbon: (Blushes) Yah I figured that, so what's the problem?

Freezer: I want you to show off that sexy huge muscles of yours you sexy retarded freak! (Drinks more wine and belches)

Zarbon: Look can we do this some other time!

Freezer: Ok belly dance for me then!  
Zarbon: I can't dance you know that.

Freezer: Did you just grow a mustache, you look different!

Zarbon: Are you drunk?

Freezer: Do I look drunk to you?

Zarbon: Look I'm tried of these killing sprees, and my men are sick of it too! I would rather pose for nude magazines in town, I do have a modeling job you know. I want to show myself off….

Freezer: (Spits some of his drink out) What you would rather be a prostitute?

Zarbon: That's not what I said, I'm too shy to be a prostitute!

Freezer: What the hell is wrong with killing?  
Zarbon: The job gets kind of depressing sometimes sir…  
Freezer: Go on some more killing sprees now!

Zarbon: No I won't! I won't let you take advantage of me anymore! Never again!  
Freezer: Are you having one of your famous mood swings again?

Zarbon: Maybe I am stupid!

Freezer: Are you arguing with me?

Zarbon: No sir!

Freezer: Teenagers like you make me so sick! If you don't on a killing spree right now, then I'll kill you! It won't be any more grounding for you!

Zarbon: But I'm tired….

Freezer: No excuse! (Hiccups and falls down and falls asleep)

Zarbon: Sir are you all right? Sir? (Sees that Freezer has fallen asleep) Hum I have always have wanted to try that "Masculine Formula" Irish coffee. (About two hours later, he and Freezer are laughing and drunk and singing)

Zarbon and Freezer: (Singing) She works hard for the money, she works hard for it honey, she works hard for the money so you better be all right! (They start laughing)

Zarbon: I never knew I could bond with an evil tyrant like you! I hate you! (He laughs)  
Freezer: I hate you too, even though I find you attractive!

Zarbon: This is so fun, confessing things that we're not supposed to confess! (Hiccups)

Freezer: Oh Zarbon you sing so beautifully!  
Zarbon: I hated when you made me take choir practice! Got anymore of that Irish Coffee?

Freezer: Ok lets' see! (He drinks some more of it) Sorry I just had the last bottle.

Zarbon: I can't believe we went through five bottles, I'm a pretty big man, I thought I couldn't get drunk on five bottles. (Gets up but then falls down)

Cooler: (Comes into the thrown room, he's the arrogant, handsome and taller brother of Freezer, he's shocked to see both of them drunk and making fools of themselves) Freezer, you're drunk again? Zarbon I expected better of you! Freezer its not fair, how come you're allowed to get away with getting drunk and I get yelled at for it?

Zarbon: Oh god you're such a big crybaby! Come here hot stuff! (He hits his butt hard)

Cooler: You're going to pay for this!

Zarbon: You know you want me Cooler, I've seen you look at me! (Laughs) Just kidding! (Then his eyes grow wide) Uh dear I'm terribly sorry sir, I didn't realize it was you! We don't have any Masculine Irish Coffee any more, but I could get you more!

Cooler: No Freezer needed it more then I did.

Zarbon: I agree, he needs to be more masculine, and he sounds like my sister. (Laughs)

Freezer: Zarbon you're supposed to be sticking up for me!

Zarbon: Don't talk about my adoptive father that way!

Cooler: Its my cousin's birthday, she's coming here I want you to be on your best behavior, I want you to straighten up, you too Freezer! You two embarrassed the shit out of me already!

Zarbon: You're not talking about my ex fiancé that Freezer tried to marry me off to just to play a mean joke on us are you? The one with Tourette syndrome?

Cooler: Yes that one!

Zarbon: Wow I haven't seen her over four years now, tell her I'll fart on her the next time I see her! (Laughs)

Cooler: Don't screw this up Zarbon, I despise you enough already since you get to get the thrown when Freezer dies leaving me forth in line!

Zarbon: Third actually…

Cooler: Shut up peasant!

Zarbon: How dare you call me a peasant go fuck yourself!

Freezer: Yah go fuck yourself Cooler! (All the sudden Icey, the cousin of Freezer and Cooler enters, she has a purple tang top on, shorts, long purple hair, short, has a gold hearts around her necklace. She's also wearing long dangling earrings with gold bracelets on. She is now standing there with her tail thumping on the ground)

Cooler: She's here don't screw this up either of you!

Freezer: You look like a cross between a striper and a chicken! (Laughs while Icey frowns)

Cooler: How dare you talk to her that way! I can't believe that father gave you the universe Freezer! Look at you, drunk and you call yourself the lord of the universe! That's the saddest thing I've ever seen, I make a better ruler then you!

Zarbon: (Looks at her, growls lustfully) Well, well who's this beautiful woman? (Walks over to her but falls down and then gets back up again then grabs her hand and kisses it) En chante.

Cooler: Don't kiss her!

Zarbon: You don't need to be overprotective! Remember me? How old are you, ten twelve?

Icey: (Smiles rather slyly) Yes I remember you, you almost married me once.

Zarbon: Aren't you the one with Tourette?

Icey: Yes I do! (Starts crying )

Zarbon: No don't cry! Please I was just checking to see if it was you!

Cooler: (Puts his arm around her, she buries her head in his chest ) Don't cry Icey, Zarbon you should be ashamed of yourself!

Zarbon: Well she embarrassed me in the restraint when we were forced to go on that date and woke the whole neighborhood up! (Looks over at Freezer who is sleeping) Next time Icey keep it at a low volume you'll wake Freezer up.

Cooler: She can't help it Zarbon, excuse me but weren't you just diagnoses with bipolar disorder?

Zarbon: That's none of your business! I'm glad I didn't marry you! I would have been very unhappy!

Icey: So did I you English speaking pig! You used to be nice, but you're a complete jerk!

Zarbon: At least I'm not a womanizer like your boyfriend!

Icey: We're no longer boyfriend and girlfriend.

Zarbon: So you finally dumped him?

Icey: No Constantine and I are happily engaged, he quite his womanizing ways, for now!

Zarbon: Boy do I feel sorry for you, you're engaged to that arrogant bastard!

Icey: (Kicks him in the balls) How dare you talk about my handsome Constantine that way!

Zarbon: All right already! Don't try to kill my generation off! You know you still want me!

Icey: I'd rather sleep with a duck!

Zarbon: What's so spectacular about Constantine! He's boring, he has a temper, he sleeps with other women, and he has no sense of humor!

Icey: Well at least he's mature, and way older then you are, and more handsome then you!

Zarbon: I guess there isn't anything wrong with marrying your own kind, but he's 31 you're 15.

Icey: So!

Zarbon: I beat I can seduce you and outsmart your arrogant bastard of a fiancé!

Icey: You're on! (They shake hands)

**Scene 2**

Zarbon is at a costum store buying a Zorro like outfit, with a black cape, hat, and an eye mask.

**Scene 3**

Zarbon runs to the stables and steals a black, elegant Stallion.

Zarbon: (The horse is giving a wild neigh) Thank god those horse riding lessons paid off.

**Scene 4**

Zarbon puts on his costume in his room.

**Scene 5**

Zarbon is riding on the horse at night looking at a piece of paper.

Zarbon: Hopefully an hour Spanish lesson will help me sing this song. (Stares at the paper) Ok fuck it! (Throws it away)

**Scene 6**

In the back of the palace under Icey's balcony, Zarbon rides up to a rose bush and picks a red rose and puts it into his mouth.

Zarbon: (Starts singing nicely) Oh when the sun goes down, and the moon comes around, I don't know why I'm still in love with you my love! And when you smile at me inside I go crazy! I don't know why I'm still in love with you!

Icey: What is that racket! (She comes running onto the balcony in a nightgown and curlers in her hair and looks down at Zarbon, but stupidly doesn't know its him) Who are you?

Zarbon: I'm a highway man! Give me your heart or else I'll, oh crap I'm terrible at this!

Icey: What?

Zarbon: I mean hop on woman, let me take you out into the night!

Icey: Ok! (Climbs over the railing)

Zarbon: Oh boy here we go again.

Icey: (Jumps over, but misses the horse and falls to the ground) I'm ok! (She hops onto the horse and they're off)

**Scene 7**

They are at a lake in the jungle looking at the beautiful moon and palm trees that are surrounding it.

Icey: Oh highway man, what is your name? Please tell me, I'm overcome by your charm!

Zarbon: For the last time Miss I can't tell you, just call me the Masked Bandit.

Icey: Ok mysterious hunk, you stole my heart, now kiss my lips!

Zarbon: Ok, very well then! (Grabs her and starts making out with her)

Icey: Oh I can't resist you, take me to bed with you!

Zarbon: Sorry I have to take you home right now! (He takes her home)

**Scene 8**

Back below the balcony, she gets off the horse and then he kisses her hand, he then does that silly magic trick he does with his hands and a rose appears in the palm of his and after clapping them together. He gives it to her.

Icey: I'm having a birthday party tomorrow evening at 6:00 sharp, come to it and tell me you're there.

Zarbon: I shall come, goodbye!

Icey: (Climbs back onto her balcony and falls on it, and then waves goodbye and at a hideous volume yells) GOODNIGHT!

Zarbon: Keep it down! (Blows her a kiss and rides away)

**Scene 10**

The next day Zarbon is in his room getting ready for the party, he's putting his hair in a braid, and gets a long sting of small pears and stings it in his braids. He puts his party cloths on, which is a red military looking uniform with a red cape attached to the back. Some of the men are wearing just about the same thing. He then puts dangly diamond earrings in and his diamond forehead crown on. He stares into the mirror, looks handsome and elegant enough I suppose. He then smiles and grabs his cape flips it in front of him and throws it behind him, there is then a knock on the door.

Freezer: (Opens the door ) Zarbon quit staring at yourself and come to the ballroom, your expected now hurry up!

Zarbon: Ok, ok God!

**Scene 11**

Evening has fallen and its dark outside, Zarbon's horse is waiting outside standing by a suitcase.  
**Scene 12**

In the ballroom, everyone's talking and having a good time, except for Zarbon, he's as board as a rabbit eating slippers. He's talking to a group of beautiful, elegant, charmingly dressed women. They are just so crazy about him.

Sheva**: **So Zarbon, tell me about the one time you saved Shasha from the serpent!

Zarbon: (Takes sip of wine) Well its like I said, I was twelve at the time, and I distracted those serpents with a stupid short story of mine, and we got away. (Takes another sip of wine, kind chuckling evilly)

Asia: Oh Zarbon God you're so handsome!

Zarbon: (Chuckles a little bit) Thank you dear, I know I am. (All the sudden he sees Cooler and Constantine heading his way they are also dressed up elegantly) Oh shit its Cooler and that arrogant Constantine, oh how I despise Constantine. (Drinks his wine fast) Especially Cooler.

Cooler: Hello Zarbon enjoying your evening?

Zarbon: Its rather boring if you ask me. (He sees Liya looking more elegant as usual) On second thought yes sir very much indeed!

Cooler: Good keep up the good work Zarbon, don't screw it up!

Constantine: Yah Zarbon, especially think you're going to charm all those ladies over there! (He and Cooler laugh and walk away) God what a glamour puss!

Zarbon: (Mocking Constantine) Yah Zarbon. (Takes another sip of wine, then there is music playing in the background and some people are dancing)

Liya: (Walks up to Zarbon) May I have this dance? (Bats her eyes)

Zarbon: Liya I have a confession to make, I don't know how to dance.

Liya: I'll teach you. (Takes his arm and they are just standing there)

Zarbon: Ok now what?

Liya: Put your hand on my waist like this. (Takes his hand and puts it around her waist) I will now put my hand on your shoulder. (Puts her hand on his shoulder) Now we stretch our arms out like this, and we take one step back and you now you lead.

Zarbon: You mean like this?

Liya: Yah now one two there, one two three, OUCH! (Zarbon stepped on her foot)

Zarbon: What?

Liya: You stepped on my foot, God I think its broken too!

Zarbon: I'm sorry Liya.

Liya: Its alright lets try it again, only this time with more confidence, feeling and passion.

Zarbon: (They take the same positions) Like this? (Starts doing the tango with her, he then stops and ptus a rose in his mouth and then does the tango some more. Tango music is playing in the background. Now some people are staring and can't believe it)

Salsa: (Sees this happening and runs to Cooler who is talking to Constantine ) Father Father!

Cooler: Yes son what is it?

Salsa: Zarbon is a splendid tango dancer, look! (Points to Zarbon dancing with Liya)

Cooler: What? Zarbon stop dancing!

Zarbon: (The two stop for a minuet) I'm having a good time so shut up Cooler! I'll dance if I want to! Besides you're not my master, Freezer is! (Continues dancing)

Cooler: Salsa stop him!

Salsa: Ok father! (Runs towards Zarbon, but then falls down and starts snoring, he apparently has narcolepsy)

Cooler: Oh how embarrassing! Freezer, tell that boy of yours to quit dancing the tango, he's making the party all about him when its supposed to be about Icey! He's embarrassing the shit out of me and he's supposed to be ballroom dancing not tangoing!

Freezer: Icey isn't even down here yet, leave Zarbon alone let him do whatever he wants!

Cooler: ARRRHH! Father tell Zarbon to quit dancing the tango!

King Cold: (He's drunk) Who?

Cooler: Somebody stop Zarbon!

Dodoria: I'll do it! (But he falls over the table)

Shasha: Oh Dodoria, you're so stupid! (Drinks a full bottle of wine) Allow me to stop him! (Starts walking fast, but then trips over Salsa who is still sleeping)

Dodoria: (Laughing hysterically) Well who's the idiot now!

Shasha: Oh shut up!

Cooler: Oh never mind! (He gets a bottle of wine and gulps it all down)

Liya: But you said you didn't know how to dance!

Zarbon: I lied, I know how to do the tango, but that's all.

Liya: This is fun, I haven't had this much fun in such a long time!

Zarbon: Ok let's stop now. (The music slows down and Zarbon bends over with Liya in his arms and the tango music stops, everyone is cheering and clapping their hands and they throw roses at them) Thank you! Now Liya teach me how to ballroom dance.

Liya: Never mind! Let's just talk instead.

Zarbon: Oh come on! Just one more time.

Liya: No!

Zarbon: Oh all right! (All the sudden, Icey appears on the stairs in a nice gown. She's elegant and beautiful looking with her hair in culrs, she starts walking down the stairs with everyone staring at her) Here comes Icey, watch her trip. (Icey then slips on an ice cube and falls down the stairs)

Asha: How did you know that was going to happen?

Zarbon: Because she's so predicatable, and clumsy, she does it every time. (Can't help but snicker)

Liya: That's not funny Zarbon, she could have hurt herself.

Zarbon: Sorry I just can't help myself. (Then all the sudden, the whole group starts laughing and then Cooler comes over to them and all the women stop laughing except for Zarbon)

Cooler: Don't laugh at her Zarbon, you flamboyant moron! (Walks away)

Zarbon: Liya allow me to make your evening more fun.

Liya: But you heard Cooler, he'll get mad at us again.

Zarbon: Excuse me ladies. (Walks over to the table where Icey is standing by) Hello Icey.

Icey: (Tries to walk away from Zarbon, but then he grabs her arm) Hi Zarbon!

Zarbon: You look lovely this evening.

Icey: So do you. Anyway I'm waiting for someone.

Zarbon: Waiting for whom, your arrogant fiancé?

Icey: Surprisingly no, but a tall, muscular, charming young man who sings like a sparrow.

Zarbon: Who me?

Icey: No you idiot, the Masked Bandit!

Zarbon: The Masked Bandit? What sort of bullshit is this?  
Icey: Its not bullshit, it's a dream! He came riding below my balcony last night and was dressed up in black like one of those old Zorro movies, and as far as I can tell he was very handsome even though he wore a mask. It's a pity really he didn't want to sleep with a natural beauty like me. I asked him to come and have fun at the party, but he hasn't showed up yet.

Zarbon: So how can you tell if he was handsome or not if he was wearing a mask?

Icey: I don't know, I only assumed, oh but he had pretty yellow eyes and that mask covered only the area around his eyes. I never knew his name, but God he was so charming, way more charming then Constantine or you. He gave me a rose, kissed my hand and my lips.

Zarbon: He didn't kiss your lips, you made that up!

Icey: What? How would you know you weren't even there!

Zarbon: I just have a feeling that you're blowing this all out of proportion!

Icey: Either way, I know he loves me!

Zarbon: Oh dear. (Says under his breath) Yah right. (Sees Cooler and Constantine coming)

Constantine: Icey how are you? (Kisses her hand)

Zarbon: (Coughs) Bullshit!

Cooler: Zarbon what was that?

Zarbon: Nothing sir, just coming down with a cold, she does look lovely doesn't she? (He hits her butt)

Constantine: How dare you harasses my fiancé!

Zarbon: I'm sorry, I thought she was Cooler's.

Constantine: Well I'm about to make a speech, come on teddy bear.

Zarbon: My name is Zarbon.

Constantine: Not you!

Zarbon: Oh Cooler I had no idea you were gay!

Cooler: Zarbon I've had just about enough of you!

Zarbon: (Trips Icey) Oh no are you all right? (Tries to make it look like he's helping her up)

Constantine: Get your hands off of her!

Zarbon: Hey I'm just trying to help her up! (Constantine, Icey, and Cooler walk up to the stairs)

Constantine: Attetion everyone, I have a rather special announcement to make!

Zarbon: (Yells to the top of his lungs) What is it, that you just crapped your pants just now, or that you're wearing pink underwear I can see it sticking out! (Everyone starts laughing)

Cooler: Zarbon shut up!

Constantine: What an idiot!

Icey: Um honey your undergarments are really showing.

Constantine: (He is in fact wearing pink underwear and he pulls his pants up and blushes furiously) No Icey and I are engaged and to be married next month!

Zarbon: Oh good we really don't care!

Liya: Zarbon what is wrong with you this evening? Are you mad or just jealous?

Zarbon: Well at least I don't care.

Liya: That's not the point, you're ruining a very special occasion for the both of them, it's not about you.

Zarbon: And tell us something else, what's next kids?

Cooler: Zarbon I'm warning you!

Zarbon: Oh shut up Cooler, you're ruining my fun, and I think this is the most boring party that I've ever been to!

Freezer: Zarbon its our cousin's fifteenth birthday, you were fifteen once!

Zarbon: In fact I'm so board to death that I'll just leave! (Starts to walk out, but not before whispering to Liya) I'll be back for you later. (Walks out the door)

**Scene 13**

Zarbon is outside by his horse changing outfits, and into the mysterious masked bandit.

**Scene 14**

Back inside the ballroom, a few minuets later everyone is talking and is board again.

Liya: Oh Kiwi I'm so board, Zarbon said he would be back for me.

Kiwi: Yah I know how that feels.

Icey: (Talking with Constantine on the staircase with Cooler) Oh that dark, handsome, muscular, mysterious Masked Bandit. (Bats her eyes) He had a voice of an angel.

Constantine: (Snorts, as we can tell he's enraged with jealousy) Yah a voice of a snake.

Zarbon: Oh I think not! (Everyone turns to see that Zarbon is dressed in the bandit costume standing by door, but everyone is dumb enough not to know its him)

Icey: Oh its him, its him, its him! It looks like he's come back for me! Oh cool! (Screams with joy)

Constantine: Will you shut up already! (Zarbon puts a rose in his mouth and climbs up the wall holding onto a vine, he then swings on the vine onto the stair railing. He then takes the rose out of his mouth and throws it down to Icey who catches it)

Icey: What a guy! (Zarbon then swings onto the vine down to the bottom of the stairs, and lets go of it and does a triple forward flip landing. He stands there and grins with his nice, lady-killer smile)

Cooler: Why can't I be that romantic?

Liya: Because you're evil and such a hot-head.

Cooler: I didn't ask you Liya.

Zarbon: (Grabs his cape and flashes it over some of his face, you can see his eyes then he lets go of it) I am the Masked Bandit! Dangerous to my enemies, charming to women, but all of the above very mysterious! (Laughs very evilly, some of the women faint)

Cooler: All right, what the hell in Satan's ass is going on?

Liya: I think a bandit just crashed the party, a rather good looking and charming one too!

Cooler: How can you tell he's good looking when he's wearing a mask?

Liya: I can just tell!

Cooler: That does it, bandit or no bandit I'll have to kick him out! This is ridicules! (Walks over to Zarbon)

Zarbon: Or shall I just go then? (Is ready to draw his sword) But not without a fight! (He draws his sword out and makes the letter Z on Cooler's behind, and Cooler's belt is ripped and his pants fall down, reviling gold underwear, everyone laughs hard and Cooler runs like hell out of the ballroom) That's right you flamboyant sissy, get out of here! (Turns to Constantine) Now its your turn you arrogant snob!

Constantine: All right, draw you Coljake the lady-killer!

Zarbon: Would you like me to draw a duck, a bird, or my horse! (Whistles very loudly and Quicksilver his horse comes galloping in)

Liya: God he sure has some really lame puns. (All the sudden Zarbon runs over to Liya and throws her onto his back, she's screaming and he gets onto his horse, Constantine tries to save Liya, but then Zarbon's horse kicks him in the stomach, now Constantine is gasping for air)

Zarbon: Hidey ho Quicksilver! (The horse gives a mighty nigh and runs out of the ballroom)

Icey: Come back mysterious, handsome Masked Bandit!

Constantine: Oh shut up!

**Scene 15**

Zarbon gets off the horse outside and helps Liya down.

Liya: Get away from me you horrible thief! (Slaps him in the face)

Zarbon: Liya its me Zarbon! (Takes his mask off)

Liya: Zarbon? (She starts laughing and now he's laughing too) Is this some kind of joke? Why did you crash the party dressed as a bandit?

Zarbon: I was just trying to make the party more fun, I stole you because you were board, and I'm dressed up as a bandit or a highway man because I was trying to prove….

Liya: And you went to all this trouble just to kidnap me, I thought you were going to ravish me!

Zarbon: No I would never to that to a woman you know that! Ok so I was trying to steal Icey away from her horrible fiancé!

Liya: Why? That's got the be the stupidest, most immature thing I've ever heard you do! Did you take your medicine for your mood disorder?

Zarbon: Well not really, I have been having some mood swings lately, and I when I was drunk I made a beat with Icey that I could steal her away from her fiancé.

Liya: You don't drink!

Zarbon: But I do smoke!

Liya: You have to go back in a set things right, tell everyone the truth, now take me back inside!

Zarbon: Oh all right, even though I'm probably going to get whipped for it. (They go back inside)

**Scene 16**

Zarbon and Liya are in the ballroom once again.

Kiwi: The Masked Bandit has returned!

Zarbon: (Gets off the horse and helps Liya off) Hi again, I have a confession to make! I'm not really a bandit or a highwayman! (Takes the mask off and his hat off, everyone is surprised)

Constantine: It's Zarbon? What a great actor!

Freezer: Wow Zarbon, he must have his father's charm, what a great seducer you are!

Zarbon: Thank you!

Icey: No it can't be you're to dull headed!

Zarbon: Yes I'm afraid that its me!

Icey: I can't believe I kissed you!

Constantine: She kissed you?

Zarbon: No she didn't I kissed her! (Everyone gasps)

Constaine: You kissed my fiancé?

Zarbon: But we didn't have sex or anything, ok the reason why crashed the party dressed up like a bandit is because it was a surprise for Icey, to make this boring party something special! Surprise!

Icey: Really?

Zarbon: Well that's not the only reason, and to prove that I can seduce you and steal you away from Constantine, so that I could prove to be more charming then him. I mean look at him he's the most dull headed, person I've ever seen in my life!

Icey: Yes and he's a good shagger too! (The whole ballroom heard that)

Salsa: (Wakes up) Did I miss something? (Everyone looks at him)

Everyone: No no, not at all!

Salsa: Good! (Then he goes back to sleep)

Zarbon: So am I more charming or what?

Icey: Oh yes, so as a winner of the bet you can bed me all you want and then marry me and produce offspring with me as well!

Cooler: (Comes into the ballroom wearing his boxers) Now what is going on?

Apple: Zarbon just confessed that he's the Masked Bandit and that he was trying to seduce your cousin and steal her away from Constantine! (Covers his mouth) Ops!

Cooler: Zarbon, you embarrassed the shit out of me! Here I plan this nice birthday party for Icey and you ruined it with your dull headed ways!

Icey: Actually he made the party more fun that way, the party was almost boring because of you Cooler.

Zarbon: Yah fuck off Cooler! (Grabs Icey's hand)

Icey: So did you plan this all out?

Zarbon: Oh yes, and it took me a while to do it, but I seriously think you're cute. (Kisses her hand)

Icey: So do you want to marry me and have sex then?

Zarbon: No way! You belong to Constantine, but he if he does cheat on you then give me a call.

Icey: Ok no problem!

Zarbon: But I will ask you to give me 100 dollars and we'll call it a bet!

Icey: Ok! (She gets out her coin purse and gives him the 100 bucks)

Zarbon: Thank you! I think I'm going to the hair salon this weekend!

Constantine: Zarbon, you'll pay for this!

Cooler: Yah!

Kiwi: Now that's what I call a true highway man!

Zarbon: I must be on my way I'll go chat with the ladies a little bit. (He chats with them, and puts his hat back and mask back on. Gets onto Quicksilver and blows the women a kiss, and rides out into the night)

**Scene 17**

In the distance Zarbon is on his horse and its stands up on its hind legs and gives out a mighty nigh and they ride off into the night. As that happens, Shakira sings the song that Zarbon was singing earlier.

End of Story


	4. Chapter 4

_The Masked Bandit Returns _

Zarbon was in the cafeteria eating lunch with Kiwi and Apple, it was a quiet day too, "Don't any of us have anything interesting to say?" asked Kiwi.

"I have something interesting to say, Alice said that she wanted to go to a movie with me, but the only problem is that she has to have sex with Cooler this evening." Apple said. Poor Apple, he was in love with a prostitute of Cooler's she was a pretty changeling girl with brown skin.

"Just dump her, tell her you don't have time to deal with her bullshit, this is the third time this month that she blew you off for Cooler!" Kiwi said.

"But I love her!" Apple said.

"We'll see what Zarbon has to say about it, hey Zarbon what are you doing?" asked Kiwi.

Zarbon was looking at his plate, which consisted of fried salmon and some asparagus. His species usually dined on vegetables, fruits, dairy products and seafood, I suppose you could consider him a vegetarian even though he was not. "Hello earth to Zarbon!" Kiwi said yelling in his ear.

"Shaba havbe, I mean what!" Zarbon said in an almost Yiddish sounding accent, it was hilarious.

"Uh are you all right you seem a little depressed." Apple said.

"Yah and nobody says shaba havbe anymore." Kiwi said eating some pineapple.

"I wonder why Freezer puts us on these strict diets?" asked Zarbon.

"Well for starters, you're a growing young man; you need nutrition so that you don't get fat like Dodoria over there!" Apple pointed to the other side of the cafeteria where Dodoria and Shasha were eating like wild animals.

Dodoria ate a lot of junk food, managed to survive two heart attacks and a stroke, who knows how many had. Anyways, he liked to eat pork, sheep, crocodile and other various animals. Shasha on the other hand was like Zarbon always a dieter on seafood, it should not have been a surprise, and after all, he was the same species as Zarbon.

"Dodoria eats like a pig, look at him he's so disgusting!" Zarbon said squinting his eyes and frowning.

"Nobody is perfect Zarbon you know that." Apple said.

"But you…" Before Zarbon could finish what he was saying the intercom came on it was Freezer's voice.

"Zarbon I want to see you in my office immediately!" Freezer said.

"Ooh looks like Zarbon is going to get raped again!" Dodoria yelled laughing along with Shasha.

Zarbon usually had the urged to control his temper, but this time Dodoria had gone too far with the insults, so he took his fish on his plate and threw it into Dodoria's face, "I'm not a little boy anymore!" Zarbon then ran out of the cafeteria.

Dodoria licked the fish off his face, "Um salmon!" he said smiling.

Zarbon went to Freezer's private office, Freezer looked as if he was getting a blowjob and having organisms at the same time, "Sir perhaps some other time would be better…" Freezer interrupted Zarbon.

"You caught me masturbating what a surprise!" Freezer said smiling.

Zarbon rolled his eyes, "You called?" he asked.

"Yes I need to have a talk with you, I want to know if you know anything about the robberies that have occurred?" asked Freezer.

"Robberies? I know nothing; I just have been talking with friends lately." Zarbon said.

"Do you even read the newspapers?" asked Freezer.

"No they're boring and they're for old people." Zarbon said.

"Oh am I not young enough for you? Well a lot of rich people have been getting robbed lately; I want you to see who the robber is!" Freezer said.

"But sir I'm a general not a spy!" Zarbon said.

"You are now officially a spy! Now go get them tiger!" Freezer said.

Zarbon frowned and walked out of the office, he then bumped into Liya, his ex girlfriend, who married someone her own species and had a child with him, then had them recently beheaded. "Hello Liya." Zarbon said.

"Hello Zarbon what are you up to?" asked Liya.

"I need to go spying for Freezer apparently." Zarbon said.

"Why you're a general you're of the highest class there is." Liya said putting her hands on his chest.

"Liya I need to figure out how I'm going to go spying for Freezer." Zarbon said.

Poor Zarbon he was so shy around the opposite sex, even though he was vain that did not guarantee him having confidence to talk to women. He was an unusual fellow who looked at womanizing as a bad thing, and usually respected women and children; only question was, what was a naïve angel like him doing in a place like Freezer's palace?

Liya looked at poor Zarbon who looked miserable, "What's the matter?" she asked.

"Oh nothing, I heard what happened to your husband and your daughter I'm very sorry." Zarbon said.

"Well I know that fate can be cruel, but that's the way it has to be I suppose." Liya said.

"Oh look at the time I really must be going, I'll have to catch you later!" Zarbon said.

"Yes I'm late for my ballet lesson, I got to go!" She then ran off, she was a ballerina in her spare time; Freezer forced her to dance because he wanted her to stay in shape, maybe even watch her dance. She loved it so much that she opened her own dance studio up, and Freezer even sponsored it, of course, she had to give him some sexual intercourse.

Zarbon later on was in his room trying to figure out how to spy on the robber or was he, no not that, he had his mind somewhere else, "This is so difficult!" Zarbon said.

"It's not that difficult." Kiwi said.

"No I'm not talking about the spying part, I'm talking about well let's just say that someone is in love with a certain person, even though that person was married. Now her husband and daughter are dead and…" Before Zarbon could finish, Kiwi interrupted.

"You mean Liya? Forget her, she's a feisty thing, she has been feisty ever since the day you met her!" Kiwi said.

"But Kiwi she's so cute, and fun to be around!" Zarbon said all he could think about was her.

"Zarbon she's still grieving give her some space, besides can't you find someone who is closer to your species even if they aren't your species?" asked Kiwi.

"Oh I don't know, the women are all the same, they're just looking for someone to jack off with and that's all they care about. I'm not a slut, I'm an intellectual, and I'm better behaved than that." Zarbon said.

"Don't worry I'm sure when Freezer dies, you can find a girl who will be good for you." Kiwi said.

"But Kiwi I want to get married like my sister and have children like her and…" Kiwi interrupted again.

"Zarbon trust me women are nothing but trouble, besides your sister is in an abusive relationship, I haven't a clue what had gotten into her, I mean Shasha is such a horrible person." Kiwi said.

"I wish she could find someone too, someone that would treat her much better than him." Zarbon said.

Little did Zarbon know that Liya was not his true love, in fact the only way he was actually going to meet his 'so-called' true love was when she would resurrect him. She would be a sorceress, but the thing was that she was not born yet, and she would be a young beautiful human. I will get back to the present shall we?

"Look Zarbon let me give you some advice that my mom gave to me, she told me that when love is real then it finds a way. She also told me that love happens when you least expect it." Kiwi said.

"But how do you know if someone is the right person or not?" asked Zarbon.

"Ok enough of this love bullshit; let's think about how we're going to stop that robber." Kiwi said.

"I don't want to stop him; I mean I think there might be a point to him robbing the rich people." Zarbon said.

"You are rich stupid! It affects you just as much." Kiwi said.

"Oh that's right, I forgot; see I'm not thinking clearly." Zarbon said.

"I have an idea, we're going to go undercover, we're going to go for ride in the forest in a carriage, and you're going to dress up as the masked bandit!" Kiwi said.

"Kiwi I can't bring that silly outfit out, I only used that outfit to try to steal Icey from Constantine remember?" Zarbon asked.

It was about a year ago on Icey's birthday when Zarbon and Icey made a bet that he could steal her away from Constantine his rival. Zarbon, who used to watch those Zorro films, dressed up in a Zorro costume and almost succeeded in stealing Icey. He changed his mind at the last minute when he told everyone at Icey's birthday party that he was the masked bandit.

Anyways he vowed never again to dress up in that silly Zorro costume, but Kiwi thought differently, "Think about it, he won't recognize you if he knows you, you can beat the robber up and then we can have him hung or burnt at the stake or…" Before Kiwi finished Zarbon interrupted.

"Let's just catch the robber first before anything happens all right?" asked Zarbon.

"So only question is that I don't want to look gay so how am I going to fit into all of this?" asked Kiwi.

That night they went to the edge of the rainforest, in a carriage, on the trail where the carriages usually went to Freezer's palace. As if dressing up like Zorro was not gay enough, Zarbon did in fact bring out his old Zorro costume; he was such a fan of Zorro too, although he did not grow a mustache this time.

Kiwi on the other hand dressed as a woman in a pretty dress, God he made an ugly woman too, "Why did I have to dress up as the woman?" Kiwi asked.

"Because you put yourself up to this mess, you said I had to dress like Zorro again, so you get to dress up as a woman." Zarbon snickered.

"You look just as gay as I do; you're off in your own little world because you've been sheltered from the actual world and…" Zarbon interrupted Kiwi.

"Please you look like a cross dresser and you say I look gay?" asked Zarbon snickering all the sudden the carriage stopped for no reason at all, "Why did the carriage just stop?" asked Zarbon.

"Freeze you bastards!" All the sudden someone pointed a laser gun at Zarbon and Kiwi into the window, "Hand over your jewels, wallets and passports!" the thief said, who was dressed up like a typical highway man.

"What's a passport I don't have one!" Zarbon said.

"Oh no what am I going to do?" asked Kiwi in a high girl voice.

"Shut up lady and hand over your jewels now!" the thief said.

"I ain't got any jewels!" Kiwi yelled in his manly voice.

"Not if I can't help it!" Zarbon then pulled out his sword, jumped out of the carriage onto the highwayman and then started beating the crap out of him, "You are committing a crime against the rich you bastard and you're going to pay when I find out who you are!" Zarbon yelled.

He then took the thief's bandana off his face; it turned out to be a she, not just any she it was someone Zarbon knew very well, "Liya?" Zarbon asked shocked as ever.

"Zarbon?" she asked just as shocked and then Zarbon got off her and she ran into the woods.

"Hey Zarbon did you get the thief I say we dismember him!" Kiwi yelled.

"Uh I kind of let the thief get away!" Zarbon said returning to the carriage.

"What? Freezer is going to be pissed!" Kiwi said.

"I wasn't supposed to track the highway man down anyways; I'm not a bounty hunter." Zarbon said.

"Let's just not tell anyone about this embarrassing night ok?" asked Kiwi.

"Your secret is safe with me." Zarbon said flushing at the thought of his old flame as that horrid highwayman or highway woman.

The next day, Kiwi was telling everyone about his adventure the night before with Zarbon, "Zarbon was dressed up as the masked bandit and I was dressed up like a man too." Kiwi said.

"Please he was dressed up as a women undercover, he's just too embarrassed to say anything about it." Zarbon said.

Kiwi blushed, "I didn't say I had a problem with it Zarbon!" Kiwi said.

"Kiwi just tell everyone the truth," Zarbon said.

Some of the girls giggled at Zarbon and Kiwi's silliness, "Wow I always adored a man in drag." Teresa said she was another concubine of Freezer's.

"Thanks Teresa why don't we go on a date this Saturday night then." Kiwi said taking her by the arm and walking out of the cafeteria.

"God he is so cocky if I didn't know any better Zarbon I would say that your cockiness rubbed off on him." Apple said eating a pack of ketchup.

"No it's not even that, can you keep a secret?" asked Zarbon.

"You know you can trust me better than bigmouthed Kiwi," Apple said now getting a pack of mustard, breaking it open and squeezing it into his mouth.

"Well last night I was in the carriage with Kiwi, yes I was dressed in that masked bandit costume and Kiwi was dressed up like a girl and…" Before Zarbon could finish Alice approached the table.

"Hello Apple." She said.

Apple threw the mustard packet to the other side of the room, "Hello Alice how was your night with Cooler?" asked Apple crossing his arms as if hurt.

"Look Apple I didn't want to tell you this but I've been laid off." She said lying.

"Well then let's go to that movie that I wanted to go to!" Apple said.

"I can't I'm still busy doing stuff." Alice said.

"Damn Alice maybe we should break up then." Apple said getting up from the table and walking away.

"Nice talking to you Alice." Zarbon said uncomfortably getting up and walking out of the cafeteria.

Then he bumped into Liya, "Hello Zarbon." She said awkwardly.

"So are you going to another ballet practice?" asked Zarbon angrily.

"Let's talk in private it's not good to talk here." She then pulled him into a closet, "Look about last night…" she said.

"Yes what was that all about?" he asked.

"Well you're not any better going around dressed up in that costume that you wore to Icey's birthday party, was it another mood swing that you had or were you trying to seduce more women?" asked Liya angry at him.

"Look I wasn't trying to get into bed with anyone I had a mood swing!" Zarbon said.

"I beg to differ; you wanted to have sex with Icey, that annoying vain snot!" Liya said.

"Enough about the past, why were you trying to rob us?" asked Zarbon.

"You want to know why? My business for the ballet studio isn't doing so well…" Liya said.

"So you go and rob a bunch of rich people, Freezer would have you punished greatly for it!" Zarbon said.

"Like you would understand anything about turning to the dark side, you're just a naïve prince who thinks he can think about fairytale endings and robbers that seduce women." She said crossing her arms and looking away from him.

"I told you nothing happened between me and Icey, she wanted to have sex with me, but I didn't let her! She's Freezer and Cooler's cousin for crying out loud!" Zarbon said.

"So that doesn't stop you from pleasing Freezer, you would do anything for Freezer but you wouldn't do anything for me." She said as if tears were coming out of her eyes.

"Wait you didn't rob those people for the dance studio did you? No you did it because you're still trying to get over the death of your daughter and husband." Zarbon said.

"Have you ever lost anyone to the axe Zarbon, do you know how horrible it is to watch your loved ones die, since I was forced to watch them die." Liya said in tears.

"So why did Freezer have your family murdered I don't understand." Zarbon said.

"You are so naïve, you think that my family were actually traitors to Freezer, no my husband would have done no such thing. Freezer only had my family executed because he well its complicated…" Liya said.

"What is it?" asked Zarbon.

"He started developing feelings for me when I was a fourteen year old, and he tried to get me into bed with him, I refused of course, and then when he found out that I was impregnated by my future husband, he forced me to marry my future husband because it was the only right thing to do." Liya said.

"So let me get this straight Freezer only had your family executed because you wouldn't marry him?" asked Zarbon.

"Exactly, well it was more like he wanted to sleep with me and I didn't want that," Liya said.

"Well if it makes you feel any better, Freezer raped me when I was a child although he's lain off a bit." Zarbon said.

"Please don't make me go back to sleeping with Freezer it will just cause me more pain!" Liya said hugging Zarbon.

Zarbon felt a little uncomfortable and was not sure if Liya was going to rape him too, but that was silly she was a helpless woman. He touched the back of her head, she was a very different species than him, but that did not stop him from being close to her, it appeared they had more in common than he thought.

"Promise me you won't rob anyone else." Zarbon said. Then he kissed her on the lips and she kissed back, and they started undressing and then they, well you know what they did. That was the first time other than with his future true love that he would ever make love to a woman. He went out of the closet blushing like crazy and with kissing marks on his face, "See you later Liya." He said giggling nervously.

Freezer's voice came onto the intercom, "Zarbon you must come to the office immediately!" Freezer's voice on the intercom yelled.

Zarbon went to the office still smiling and Freezer was shocked to see this, "Zarbon why are you smiling wipe that smirk off your face!" he yelled.

Zarbon immediately wiped the smirk off his face, "Sorry what's the problem!" Zarbon asked.

"You were supposed to catch the bandit last night, why didn't you?" asked Freezer.

"Because you can't rush a good catch sir!" Zarbon said.

Freezer rolled his eyes, "Whatever, just catch that thief!" Freezer said.

"Yes sir!" Zarbon said running out of the room.

Zarbon was in his room with Apple in it, "Apple remember that secret I told you earlier?" asked Zarbon.

"Oh yah about you and Kiwi tracking the highway man?" asked Apple.

"Yes well Liya was the highway man the only reason I'm telling you is because Kiwi can't be trusted with secrets." Zarbon said.

"Oh my God I would have never thought, especially since Liya gets all of her money for her studio from Freezer by sleeping with him!" Apple said.

"Yes she told me that when we made love to one another." Zarbon then covered him mouth.

"You made love to Liya, oh Zarbon you put yourself into a bigger mess!" Apple said.

"I know that, but I feel that we have gotten more intimate then previously." Zarbon said.

"Look I don't want to sound mean, but it's your hormones talking, you're a man, men like to have sex Zarbon its common knowledge." Apple said.

"I know that, but its different I guess I mean she's the only girl I've ever done it with." Zarbon said.

"You can still be friends with Liya, but my advice is to end this sexual relationship with her as soon as possible because what if she ends up pregnant?" asked Apple.

"She won't we can't conceive with one another she's too genetically different." Zarbon said.

"Look even if she can't bore you any offspring, you need to end the relationship as soon as possible otherwise she's going to be the end of you." Apple said.

"But Apple…"

"No buts, you need to before someone finds out, and it could happen too." Apple said.

Zarbon then knew what he had to do, he called Liya up and they both dressed up in their bandit costumes deep into the woods so that nobody knew who they were, not that anyone was going to go there, they then started making out behind a bush somewhere, "Never let me go!" Liya said.

"I wish I could hold onto you forever but I can't." Zarbon said.

"But Zarbon I thought we had an understanding." She said.

"We do, but I can't have a sexual relationship with you nor can I have a love life with you or any woman for that matter." Zarbon said.

"But I don't understand." Liya said.

"It would be best if we just end this whole thing so that none of us could be put into danger." Zarbon said.

"But…"

"But nothing, you need to try to move on from me, I will always love you but until Freezer dies, I can't make love to any woman or to any man." Zarbon said.

"Its Icey isn't it?" asked Liya.

Zarbon's eyes grew wide, "No it has nothing to do with her!" Zarbon said.

"Go fuck yourself Zarbon!" Liya then ran off.

"Liya come on, you're not being fair!" Zarbon yelled.

Later that night, Liya got her best laser gun ready so that she would kill that horrible, bratty Icey, after all she and her husband Constantine were excepted at dinner tomorrow night for a private party. "I can't wait to blow your brains out bitch." Liya said.

"Liya what are you doing?" Liya turned around; it was Alice Cooler's concubine and Apple's love interest.

"Nothing, why do you ask?" asked Liya.

"Um no reason really, could you give Apple a message for me tomorrow, tell him that I want to go to that movie with him, I called in sick to Cooler." Alice said.

"Yes sure I will." Liya said putting the laser chips into the gun.

Alice then ran off, "Tomorrow night you're toast queen of brats!" Liya said as she finished loading the gun.

The next day in the cafeteria Zarbon got a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and Apple was sitting at the table, "God Kiwi has been spending too much of his time with that silly Teresa, I'm so mad." Apple said.

"Yah he's such a trader." Zarbon said popping the sandwich into his mouth.

"So did you end it with Liya?" asked Apple.

"Yes I did, but I didn't want to though she was everything to me besides myself." Zarbon said.

"I know that you have feelings for her, but you can't let your feelings get in the way of this regime that Freezer is running." Apple said.

"Besides making love is supposed to be a beautiful thing, I can't believe how many people take it for granite." Zarbon said drinking some green tea.

"Try telling that to Kiwi and Teresa." Apple said looking annoyed at Kiwi across the room who was sitting next to Teresa tickling her chin.

All the sudden Alice rushed to the table, "Guys I don't know if Liya was kidding or not, but she's planning on killing someone tonight!" Alice said.

"But we're not supposed to kill people unless Freezer says so, did she get permission from Freezer?" asked Apple.

"I don't know but she's planning on shooting someone with a laser gun!" Alice said.

"Let's see who would Liya try to pick off?" Apple said thinking.

"Freezer, no too risky he has bodyguards." Zarbon said.

"How about Shasha he killed her mother." Apple said looking over at Shasha eating with his mouth opened with Dodoria.

"Yes she wants to kill him, but Freezer would have her murdered if she murdered his most violent henchman." Zarbon said.

"Dodoria?" asked Apple.

"No she won't go near him." Zarbon said.

"How about Vegeta or his Sayain friends?" asked Apple.

"No everyone wants to kill them, they won't even talk to her, so it's not like she's going to kill someone who hasn't offended her let alone talked to her." Zarbon said.

"How about Cooler?" asked Apple.

"No lets narrow down to the usual suspects…Kiwi!" Zarbon said.

"Yah I wish." Apple said looking pissed off as he saw Kiwi kissing Teresa's hand.

"Me, she's pissed off at me for breaking it off with her!" Zarbon said.

"No she wouldn't hurt you and you know that!" Apple said.

"Herself?" asked Zarbon.

"She is conflicted but I don't think she's that conflicted, I think she's trying to kill Icey my best friend in the world!" Alice said.

"What do you mean Icey?" asked Apple.

"Because I overheard her say that she wanted to shoot that bitch's brain out, I don't think she was talking about any of Freezer's concubines or Cooler's concubines. Besides she told me herself that she couldn't stand Icey." Alice said.

"It's Icey that she wants to kill then!" Zarbon said.

"The worst part of all is that she's supposed to come for a private dinner which we weren't invited to." Apple said.

"We have to stop her, don't let her kill Icey please, Icey is my best friend in the entire world, we tell each other everything!" Alice said.

"Don't worry she won't get away with it!" Zarbon said cracking his knuckles.

That night Liya waited deep in the woods for Icey's carriage to cross her path, meanwhile in the carriage Icey looked all dolled up while her arrogant husband Constantine who was thinking to himself, "Oh Constantine, I love to go to parties don't you?" Icey asked.

"Yes." He said not paying attention, he closed his eyes he could have used a good nap.

"I love to look beautiful and have people notice me, I love to do my hair all nice and I love to put lipstick on!" Icey said.

It was all girl-talk to him, he did not really pay much attention to what she talked about, and he did not even want to go to this party, "Sure honey that's fine." He said.

"Ne me faites pas rire!" she said.

"What?" he asked caught off guard.

"We're supposed to be practicing our French it's a formal occasion and Cooler said we have to speak French." Icey said.

"Cooler can suck my dick!" Constantine said.

"Uh I knew you were not paying attention to anything I said!" She said.

All the sudden they heard a shot, "What was that?" asked Constantine, he looked out the window and saw their horse, wounded by a laser shot.

"Who would do that to a poor animal?" asked Icey, all the sudden Liya grabbed Icey by the neck, "What in the world?" she asked.

"Get out of the carriage bitch!" Liya said.

"You're not going to rape me are you?" asked Icey, she got out of the carriage.

"Now bend down onto the ground execution style!" Liya yelled.

"You're not that Avon lady are you, because I meant to pay for that lipstick!" Icey said.

"Shut up bitch!" Liya hit Icey in the face with the laser gun and bruised her badly to the point where blood was running down her face.

"Don't hurt her! Don't worry Icey I'll save you!" Constantine said. All the sudden Liya shot the laser at him.

"Stay in the carriage or I'll blow your mother fucking head off!" Liya said pointing the laser gun at Constantine.

"Yes sir!" Constantine said poking his head back into the carriage.

"What did I do?" Icey asked.

"You know perfectly well what you done, you had a relationship with Zarbon and you still see him behind my back!" Liya said hitting Icey in the face again.

"What? I haven't seen Zarbon for a long time; we didn't even have a relationship!" Icey said.

"You lie!" Liya kicked her in the stomach and then pulled her nicely done hair out, pulled her nice diamond necklace off, and then Icey kicked Liya in the face and then ran off into the woods, "Come back bitch!" she yelled running after her.

Icey then ran into Zarbon who was dressed up like that bandit again, "Masked bandit you've come to rescue me haven't you?" Icey asked who forgot for a second that it was Zarbon under there.

"Uh yah just go over to Alice!" Zarbon said pointing to Alice.

"Alice!" Icey ran over to Alice forgetting about the masked bandit immediately.

"Icey are you all right?" Alice asked hugging Icey to her tightly.

"Apple I can't bear to hit girls so could you do it for me?" asked Zarbon.

"Sure!" Apple got the skillet out and when Liya came running towards Icey he hit her in the head and she fell down, and then he grabbed the gun from her.

"What happened?" asked Liya.

"Liya why were you trying to kill Icey, she's innocent, what makes you think that we've had a relationship ever?" asked Zarbon.

"Zarbon you love her and not me!" Liya yelled.

"Kiwi was right, you aren't my true love after all, but I can't tell Freezer that you're the highway man either!" Zarbon said conflicted inside.

All the sudden Constantine came running over to Icey, "Icey dear are you all right?" he asked hugging her tightly.

"Where were you when Liya was about to blow her brains out?" asked Zarbon.

"I was in the carriage, she would have killed me too if you wouldn't have come along!" Constantine said.

Zarbon rolled his eyes, "Whatever." He said, and then turned his attention to Liya, "I can't believe I made love to you! You're a monster just like Freezer, how are you any better than Freezer or Shasha?" asked Zarbon.

"I hate you!" she then ran off crying.

"Uh that's so unfair, why didn't you have sex with me when I asked you to?" asked Icey, who had a mild case of Tourette syndrome.

Next day Zarbon was in Freezer's office, "I caught the thief!" Zarbon said.

"Did you kill him?" asked Freezer.

"Yep I took him straight to the chopping block!" Zarbon lied.

"Good hopefully this won't happen again." Freezer said.

"One can only hope sir." Zarbon said with a smirk on his face, and then he went out of the office and then went from smirking to depression.

In the cafeteria Kiwi was at the lunch table alone when Zarbon and Apple sat down next to him, "Hello Kiwi what happened to Teresa?" asked Zarbon.

"She dumped me." Kiwi said depressed looking.

"Well she is a concubine, as I found out recently you can't just get a date out of her, it has to be on her own time." Apple said.

Liya walked towards Zarbon with her lunch tray, "Hello Zarbon how are you doing?" asked Liya.

"I'm fine, so I guess I'll see you around then." Zarbon said.

"Yes same here." Liya took her lunch tray and went off on her way, and Zarbon stared at her.

"Wow did you have sex with her?" asked Kiwi shocked.

Zarbon sighed, "No." He said as he stared at Liya walking away.

End of Story


	5. Chapter 5

_An Unpleasant Secret part 1_

Everyone was sitting down at dinnertime in the dining room and Zarbon came into the room and sat down at the table, he did not really look elegant as usual, he was wearing a Ginyu Force tee shirt, had his hair down, and was not wearing armor or a cape as usual, he did not even wear his crown. Freezer stood up, "Zarbon you're late for dinner!"

Zarbon stroke his hand through his thick, long, silky hair and looked at Freezer," Sorry Freezer, I was just taking an afternoon nap. "

Freezer shook his head with disgust, "Why aren't you dressed elegantly like royalty should be!"

Vegeta the little annoying Sayain prince that everyone including Freezer hated with a passion smirked and took a sip of red wine. "Yah Zarbon, aren't you afraid you'll look like a peasant?" He laughed along with Freezer.

Zarbon stared at the little brat with his yellowish gold eyes giving him the evil eye, "Aren't you afraid you're going to get the shit beat out of you?"

He was seconds from attacking Vegeta, but Freezer saw what he was about to do, "Leave him alone Zarbon, are you helping your sister out with her baby, again?"

Zarbon started to blush and tried to hide his hidden helpful nature, "No why do you say that?"

Freezer looked at Zarbon and thought him a liar, "Because you haven't bathed like you're supposed to or dressed elegantly either, we're royalty you're supposed to dress nicely!"

It's true that Zarbon had a reputation of dressing really elegantly and being a total glamour puss, but tonight he just wasn't with it, "Freezer, Shasha was on another mission and he doesn't even help her out!"

Now Shasha was Zarbon's incredibly evil brother-in-law, who once taught Zarbon martial arts, gymnastics, and the most important thing of all how to transform. Freezer had no idea that he was secretly married to Zarbon's younger sister, "As of why he deiced to date your younger sister and have children with her, I'll never know. Say Vegeta didn't you used to like Miretta?"

Vegeta started to blush and it showed almost as much as Zarbon blushing, "Well that was a long time ago; I hate her guts now, such a slut for sleeping with Shasha!"

Zarbon felt enough guilt that he did not protect her from Shasha, but now he had a duty to protect her from Vegeta's insults, "You're just mad because she didn't have feelings for you! How can I blame her, she is only sixteen whereas you are just a child. "

Vegeta claimed onto the table, "Man Zarbon shut up or I'll…"

"That's enough you two or do I have to hit both of your heads together at the same time?" Freezer yelled.

All the sudden Liya, Zarbon's childhood friend, also adopted by Freezer after he had her mother murdered by Shasha, came into the room, she was not the prettiest, humanoid creature, but the way she carried herself was just sexy. She came into the room dressed up elegantly, " Hello everyone!"

Vegeta made googly eyes at her, what knockers she had too, "Wow I would do her in a minute that is if I had any time!" He burst out laughing.

Zarbon glared at him, after all he felt like it was his duty to protect his friend from horrible brats like Vegeta. "Don't talk about her that way, that's the most disrespectful thing I've ever heard anyone say!"

"I'm just saying it's true." Vegeta said as he took a whole pineapple, put the whole thing in his mouth, and swallowed it whole without chocking once.

Dodoria looked at his watch all the sudden, what was he up to? "Look at the time I got to get going!" He got up from the table and went out of the dining room.

"What's his problem?" Zarbon asked surprise.

"Maybe he went to redo a mission, he always screws it up!" Vegeta said laughing.

Freezer shrugged his shoulders, "I have no idea what has gotten into him, and he's been doing this for weeks now."

"I think I got to go too!" Zarbon said leaving the table.

"You already went to the bathroom!" Vegeta said laughing.

"Oh shut up!" Zarbon said as he walked out of the dining room.

Later on Zarbon was in his room, and he went into the shower and started showering, "God I need to shower, really baldy! Oh the water feels so good on my body!"

"Zarbon!" it was Freezer, somehow he gotten into the shower without Zarbon noticing.

"Oh my God, Freezer what are you doing in the shower with me?"

"It took you how long to notice I was here?" surely Zarbon wasn't that thick, he was the most observant person under Freezer, whereas most of Freezer's men were bigger idiots.

Zarbon smiled uncomfortably, "Oh this is really awkward."

Freezer frowned impatient, "Forget about the strange moment, I need your help!"

Zarbon's eyes grew wide, "Yah but couldn't you have asked me when I got out of the shower?"

Freezer then realized what he did was somewhat wrong, "Ok fine I'll get out."

He took Zarbon's towel that Zarbon planned to use. "But that's my, ok never mind."

When Zarbon got out of shower, he dried off with a different towel, and put his robe on in his robe and sat on the bed while Freezer was pacing back and forth. "So what's the problem lord Freezer?"

"Well there is something wrong with Dodoria, I've notice that he has woken up earlier than usual." Freezer said.

Zarbon grinned unnecessarily and thought about getting sarcastic with him, "And I thought I was an early riser."

"He's also cut his missions short." Freezer added on.

Zarbon could not believe his ears, was it true? "But he can't do that, I'm not even allowed to do that, and I hate these missions just as much as he does."

Freezer looked even more confused than Zarbon, "That's the whole problem; he won't even go on missions with Shasha."

More nonsense, "But they are the greatest friends in the world!" Zarbon said.

"I don't understand it either, we've checked him recently for mental illness, even mental retardation, and he passed for retardation!"

That Zarbon did believe, "I knew it!"

Freezer seemed annoyed with Zarbon's sarcasm, "Don't rub it in please! I want to know what is going on, nowadays each time dinner comes around he all the sudden says he has something important to do, like going on missions to conquer planets, in yet I keep checking to see if he punched in a card or not, and it turns out he didn't! "

Now this was almost untrue, or perhaps maybe Dodoria was sick, "But he usually has an incredible appetite, he never tries to miss out on dinner! Do you think he's sick?"

Freezer looked like he was about cry, although it looked like they were no more than crocodile tears, "No, I don't."

"Oh dear, and why do I have anything to do with this?"

Then Freezer got a most horrible idea, a most horrible, awful idea, "I'm going to ask you to do something that I've never asked you to do before!"

Zarbon stood up, "Bring it on, I'm pretty sure I can handle it."

Freezer smiled and almost looked like he was about to laugh, "I want you to try to seduce Dodoria to get information out of him!"

Now this was just horrible and awful at the same time, "What? That has got to be the dumbest thing you've ever asked me to do!"

Freezer now had a stern look on his face, "I am an ambitious man Zarbon, and I will do anything to get information anywhere."

"But I don't even like him and he's so…"

"Ugly?" True enough Zarbon probably thought.

"Not so much as that."

"Dodo brained?" that was also as true as Dodoria being physically ugly.

"No, he's so straight." Freezer thought hard about this one. "I heard a rumor that you were bisexual is that right?" so it was true that Zarbon had some bisexual tendencies, but lately he liked females, it was as if his preferences changed every week.

"Yes but I am more interested in women really and…" before Zarbon could finish Freezer interrupted him.

"Perfect seduce him I know you will."

"But Freezer….."

Freezer clapped his hand together and interrupted again, "Make me proud Zarbon!"

With that, he left the room leaving poor Zarbon to sulk, for he was a sensitive soul. 'Bullocks, why me!"

Zarbon was dressed up elegantly as usual, and he was spying on Dodoria who was taking something out of his locker. Poor Zarbon was so confused, that damn Freezer, why did he have to be so damn cruel, why could he not just seduce Dodoria himself? "Come on Zarbon don't be shy, you're not nearly as cocky as you make yourself out to be! I'm so shy, trying to seduce someone I don't even like, let alone find attractive! Well you have to make the best of it, its Freezer's orders! Here goes nothing!"

He wetted his hair like a good sport and went over to Dodoria trying to make his energy seem all sexy and laidback, "Hello Dodoria what's going on?" he said smiling.

Dodoria slammed his locker door and frowned at Zarbon a little bit surprised, "What do you want; you barely ever talk to me! Go away glamour puss, I have no interest with interacting with you!"

It's true that Dodoria had despised Zarbon ever since he came to live with Freezer, but Zarbon was just a little boy back then, and now he was this sexy bulky if suspicious creature. Zarbon tried to look innocent, "Is something wrong?"

Dodoria snorted and crossed his arms, "Yah you're blocking my sunlight now get lost or else I'll make you!"

"Come on Dodoria, you know I care about you?" Zarbon lied.

"What but you hate me and I hate you!" Dodoria said.

Zarbon then rolled his eyes and looked straight at Dodoria, "Funny how one could miss someone that you hate so much and yet miss them so much." What was he talking about; I do not even think Zarbon knew what he was doing.

"What are you saying?" Dodoria could not believe it.

All the sudden Zarbon pretty much overdid it by rubbing his hand on Dodoria's spiny head, "You know I've always found you attractive right? You just missed a few signs, how I have been waiting for you to notice me." Zarbon then did what any good henchman trying to seduce his own ugly comrade would do; he went in for a kiss.

However, that did not go over well with Dodoria, "Get off of me you ugly toad!" He was so disgusted that he pushed Zarbon to the floor. Damn it backfired, almost a first, not counting the countless times where some other women and men were annoyed with Zarbon's flamboyancy.

"Fine be that way, no wonder nobody wants to be near you!" He got up and ran away, how embarrassing.

At the bar that night, Zarbon hung out with his two best friends in the world, the only two that understood him other than his cat and Liya, oh and himself. Zarbon was so annoyed that he pounded his head on the table while Kiwi and Apple were smoking. "I can't believe it; this is the first time I've tried to seduce someone without getting any information out of them!"

Apple had to tell Zarbon the total truth about seducing people, not that he was an expert, "I don't know it's kind of hard to seduce someone that you despise and who despises you in return, and you're the sweetest person I've ever been around, and the vainest too."

That did not help Zarbon's self esteem or should we say vanity at all, "Thank you Apple, he said I was an ugly toad, but I would think that he would be referring to my other form though."

Kiwi then looked at Zarbon, "I heard that your species are incredibly vain, but never before have I heard that they could be self-conscious about their other form. Even your father used to boast about how horrible his other form is; he even called it good looking too." Kiwi was not much help, nor was he much smarter than Zarbon or Apple put together.

"Kiwi that is oldest stereotype about my species that I've ever heard, I mean I'm like everyone else I have weaknesses and faults!" Zarbon said.

Kiwi put his cigarette out and looked at Zarbon, "Look, what Freezer told you was the completely wrong way to go, if you want him to talk you have do something more effective. "

"Like what?"

Kiwi smiled, "Get him good and drunk!" Great idea, but even that had its drawbacks.

"Oh boy, he's really mean when he's drunk and it scares me to death," said Zarbon shaking at the thought of Dodoria throwing stuff at him when he was a child, but luckily Dodoria's aim was horrible.

" It's not like you're the only one who doesn't enjoy taking orders from Freezer, we all have to do things we don't want to do, but I think that Kiwi has a point. " I guess Apple was right on this one.

"One problem, Dodoria doesn't trust me at all." said Zarbon.

"Just get some champagne and say it's a gift from Shasha because he was so worried about him."

There was an idea, "That might actually work, Kiwi I think I love you!" Zarbon was so happy that he grabbed Kiwi and kissed him on the lips.

"Zarbon I'm faltered, but honestly I don't feel that way about you!"

Zarbon did not feel hurt, "That's fine, I just need to go find the whitest champagne in the universe!"

The plan was set in motion, Zarbon got an outdated bottle of champagne from Kiwi's collection of wine, which he never bothered to drink, and went to Dodoria who was at his locker again, and Zarbon stood behind him with the bottle of champagne. "Hello again!"

Oh no not that glamorous pretty boy again, "Look I told you I think you're an ugly toad and I…"

Zarbon was usually a horrible liar and the easiest to read of all the henchmen, "Shasha wanted me to share a glass of wine with you, care to join me for a drink?"

Dodoria did not know what to think, although he and Shasha usually messed things up whenever they drunk together, so maybe he could not refuse this one, "You didn't spike it did you?"

Zarbon lifted an eyebrow, "Does it look opened to you?"

Yep Zarbon was right he did not trust him just quite yet, "I don't know I have been going on a diet lately." It was hard to believe since Dodoria usually did not exercise a whole lot.

"Oh come on, it looks like you gained some more, so why bother with those stupid starve-yourself diets?" Zarbon asked.

Ok maybe he will trust him now, " I guess I could use a drink I mean I've been a nervous wreck lately!"

Finally, the airhead seceded, "Charmed! Zarbon kindly opened the bottle up and poured him a glass.

Hours later Dodoria got drunk and Zarbon sat there waiting for him to talk. "You know Zarbon I've always have envied you and Vegeta, you two are princes and are royalty that I would want to stay away from!" Oh now Dodoria finally admitted to have a problem with royalty and Zarbon.

Zarbon smiled his perky smile, "Well I can't help that now can I?"

"You could have any woman you want; I still think you're ugly though…" Dodoria said and belched.

Zarbon's eyes grew wide, "Hey lay off the insults will you? I'm very sensitive you know my zodiac sign proves it." Of course it was not mentioned in the Dragon ball Z series that Zarbon was into astrology, was used as a soothsayer and loved to use sorcery every occasionally.

"And what is that?" asked Dodoria a total non-believer.

"I'm a Cancer, Cancers are supposed to be really sensitive and sulk a lot if someone hurts their feelings, I'm a really clingy person….." it's true, Zarbon was an awfully sensitive person, even though he didn't admit it, he was terrible at hiding it.

"I don't follow that occult bullshit like you, but as a Virgo I intend to be very picky and critical." Dodoria said.

"You're a Virgo?" asked Zarbon.

"Of course I am you didn't know that?" If Dodoria was in fact a Virgo he was not a very intelligent one.

Zarbon then lied, "I guess I believe it now."

Dodoria looked as if he was about to say something very important, "I do like this one girl that doesn't seem to notice me." There was a special someone in Dodoria's life, that horrible demonic looking alien that yelled a lot when he was pissed, belched and farted at the table and scratched his crotch in public thinking nobody would notice. Zarbon was more alert now, "What girl?"

Dodoria smiled, it was almost rare for him to smile, but that usually happened when he was with Shasha and gaining up on people, "She doesn't even care if I exist!" Dodoria said.

"Who is she?" asked Zarbon with enthusiasm like a little naive boy.

"She's such a good dancer, the way she dances, it's so amazing!" Dodoria was in love with a dancer, it was like Quasimodo being in love with Esmeralda, that is if this gypsy was attractive.

"You're in love with a dancer, scandalous," Zarbon said smiling.

" Well she's a ballerina, I think, although I've seen her doing lyrical, but the way she dances up on point, it makes me wonder why she even choose this career, I mean if you want to be a ballerina then you know you're going to fuck your feet up right?" A ballerina, surely he could do better than that.

"I suppose, I don't know anything about dancing sorry." said Zarbon.

"I mean the way Liya dances it makes me want to fuck her. For once, it makes me glad that Freezer forced her to take up dancing lessons. And her knockers, the nicest boobs I've ever seen in my life!" Did he just say what Zarbon thought he said, or was he lying? However, he was drunk, usually when people get drunk they say what is on their mind and pretend to forget what they regretted when they were drunk.

"She is a pretty good dancer isn't she?" Just then Zarbon's eyes grew wide, "Wait a minute are you saying that you have a thing for Liya?" Liya, Zarbon's lost secret love, even though never again they would not be more then friends.

"Well you won't believe this, but she has been going on many missions with me lately, and it makes me a little bit shy too."

"But you don't even like Liya; you used to pick on her because she was outspoken as a child. What's this I hear about you not wanting to go on missions with Shasha; you two have a great time terrorizing planets together." Yes, it was true that Shasha and Dodoria caused ciaos together and it drove Zarbon and his more civilized friends insane.

"Shasha has a daughter and a wife now, all he talks about is how he hits Miretta if she doesn't do what he says, and it kind of leaves me out of the picture, so I asked Freezer to team me up with someone else, and he teamed me up with Liya."

No, it was not true! NO! "You like Liya, uh thanks for the information I got to go!" Zarbon got up and left not wanting to cause a scene.

Later on Zarbon reported to Freezer, Freezer sat on his thrown digging his nails into the hand rests, "So did you seduce Dodoria like a good little slut?" how dare he call Zarbon a slut!

"Well not exactly, but I did find some information that might be more useful."

"**Do** tell" oh boy how to tell that galactic tyrant without getting into trouble.

**"**You know how Dodoria didn't want to do missions with Shasha anymore? Well he kind of feels left out now that Shasha has his attention focused on women."

Freezer's eyes grew wide, **"**I had no idea that he was that sensitive, usually he's as stubborn as a mule."

"You know how you switched him with Liya to do those missions? Well he kind of has a dark secret which I hesitate to revel."

Freezer could not take it anymore, he had to know, "Don't keep me waiting; I hate it when people don't spit things out."

Zarbon gulped, "Dodoria likes Liya!"

"Isn't she your girl though?"

**"**We used to like each other like that, but not anymore, we're just friends now." Every occasion Freezer would ask Zarbon's opinion, but if someone else told him differently he would have them executed.

"So what do you suggest we do?" asked Freezer.

"Could you possibly switch him back with Shasha so he doesn't skip missions or quit them ahead of time?"

Bad idea, "But if I do that then maybe that'll make matters worse, I mean if he's upset with his friend, why let the two work together again? Why would he like Liya anyways?" It was hard to tell.

"I guess it's because she's such a good dancer." Zarbon said naively, poor thing, other than being picky about his appearance, he had an incredible naïve nature about him.

Freezer started to snicker like a little kid, sometimes he was more of an evil little brat then a big bully dictator like emperor. "Or because she has such a huge set of knockers on her!"

Zarbon couldn't stand up for her this time, no Freezer would have him whipped on his back, which was his usual punishment if he pissed Freezer off enough, "So what do you want me to do about it?"

"For all I know you have some options to make, one you could go on the missions with him."

No way, not going to happen, "No I hate him!" said Zarbon crossing his arms.

"Two, tell Liya that he has a thing for her."

Ok sure maybe, but who knows how that would turn out. "I don't know if she'll take kindly to that."

Freezer thought for a while longer, "Or three last but not least, don't say anything at all and try to get them together and it'll be the biggest joke in the world! Ha!" He clapped his hands together.

No this was unbearable, "Or I can tell Liya."

Freezer thought of an even crueler idea that would bring Liya to almost pure suffering, "No get them to go out on a date! That would be even better!"

Zarbon had no interest in betraying his friend either way, "But sir…"

Freezer interrupted, "Don't disappoint me!"

Zarbon gave up; he could not win this one, "Yes sir."

End of part 1


	6. Chapter 6

_An Unpleasant Secret part 2_

At the dance studio, Liya was up on point, showing the other girls some moves, only how did she do it without feeling any pain on her toes? Who knows? She then said in her thick British sounding accent, "Now girls you need to look as graceful as you can!" She then did an arabesque, the other girls did not even want to be there, they would have preferred a different teacher, not one as bossy and outspoken as Liya.

Zarbon barged into the room, "Liya I need to talk to you in private!"

Liya turned quickly and saw Zarbon, whom she didn't expect to see there at all, some of the girls were blushing and giggling, they probably were happy to see a least one man out of the whole day of ballet camp.

"Not now Zarbon! You are disturbing my class! Don't laugh at him!" she had a stern look on her face, and the girls immediately stopped laughing.

"No now!" Zarbon demanded.

Liya smiled a fake smile, "Excuse me ladies!" she walked out of the room into the hallway, "What is the deal Zarbon?"

"Uh I know this one guy who likes you a lot." Zarbon said sweating like crazy.

"If you wanted a date why didn't you say so?" asked Liya thinking there would be a chance with Zarbon.

" Oh I uh…." but before Zarbon could finish Liya all the sudden caught the girls looking through the window and giggling again, looking at Zarbon's butt which was covered by his armor, he worked out that was for damn sure.

Liya got mad and yelled at the girls, "Girls start stretching! We'll talk about it later, bye," She went back into the dance class, she completely misunderstood but tomorrow was another day, Zarbon had failed yet again, only this time due to Liya's assumption.

"Damn it!" he yelled.

Dodoria had a horrible hangover and he started throwing up in the trashcan, Shasha came over to him, that muscular guy that was the same species as Zarbon, only he grew up on a planet that spoke mostly Russian.

He had a thick Russian accent and had a deep, raspy voice, which scared the pants off people, was in favor of the Soviets conquering planet earth, but was actually an imperialist himself.

Then there were those maroon eyes that looked pretty red, his thick lips proved that he was in fact from planet Cyrillic, he wasn't as handsome as Zarbon, but he was sort of attractive, but he had a hooked nose and thick blue eyebrows, but not overly thick.

He the huge scar going across his check over his eye made him look very fearsome. If that was not enough, he had thick, long, blue hair, dark blue skin, and he was bad news, evil and would have his way with any helpless woman.

As of why Zarbon's sister started out despising him and then ended up marring him, was more of a mystery to everyone that knew, perhaps to mate. Freezer most certainly did not know that, if he did he would have Shasha killed. Enough about Shasha let us get back to the story.

"What are you doing? Did you have too much to drink?" asked Shasha.

Dodoria's eyes that were usually the color black now looked brown for some reason, it was that hangover, "Yes I did, and I didn't know you cared!"

Shasha smiled, he had a nice smile, but his scar went over his lip as well, "What are you talking about? I'm your friend; you're only person I like other then myself."

"Thanks for the champagne." Dodoria blurted out.

Shasha was surprised to hear this, he usually gave Dodoria harder liquor, "I didn't give you champagne."

Then the dodo brain opened his huge mouth, "But Zarbon said that you gave me champagne and he gave me a drink and I got sick!" he coughed.

"I did nothing of sort!"

Zarbon came into the room, and froze with fear as he saw Shasha, he was so intimating to look at, he's thought that ever since he was a child, "Hello Dodoria….." Shasha stared at him and looked fearful enough, "Liya wants to go out on a date with you!" Zarbon said as bubbly as he could.

"All right!" Dodoria was so happy that he felt sick again, and threw up even more in the trashcan.

Zarbon looked disgusted, "I have to go or else I'm going to throw up!"

He ran out of the room, Shasha squinted his eyes has if Zarbon had offended him, "You like Liya? God you are so sick!" With that, he walked out of the room.

Later on Liya knocked on Zarbon's door, and he answered it, "So you wanted to see me?"

Zarbon was nervous, "Of course I did,"

Liya smiled; maybe deep down inside she had something for Zarbon," So where are we going for the date?"

Zarbon blushed, "We're not going on a date I'm setting you up on a blind date with someone else."

Liya went from smiling to disappointment, "Oh what a pity, so tell me is he handsome?" How does one just tell their ex girlfriend that the man she will be going on a date with is horribly ugly.

"Well I'm not quite sure what to tell you, but he's really different I'll tell you that right now!" Zarbon said nervously.

She smiled a sad smile, "I better like this guy."

"Oh I'm not promising anything, but I think you'll have a wonderful time!" Zarbon smiled big, that is all he could do.

She thought, "All right I'll give this loser a chance."

"By the way I made you brownies! Here!" he gave her a small batch of brownies.

"My favorite thank you!" as she walked away she took a bit out of one, she always had a sweet tooth.

Later that night, Dodoria had a tuxedo on and looked in the mirror. "Oh my you look much better than usual." Zarbon said even though he thought Dodoria's tuxedo looked a little bit sloppy.

"I can't believe that Freezer forced you to give me a makeover."

"You're not the only one who's mad about this. By the way, master Freezer wanted me to give you this to drink!" he gave him a drink.

"What is it?"

"Trust me just drink it, it's not toxic."

Then Dodoria decided to trust him again, even after he lied to him about the wine, " All right, but if I grow a tail it's your fault glamour puss! " he drunk the whole thing, there was an awkward silence. "So what's supposed to happen?"

Zarbon looked surprised, "Uh I'm not sure, oh boy this isn't going to go well. Let's get going that restraint isn't going to come to us." They went to the car and they drove downtown.

At the restraint, Dodoria was sitting waiting for Liya to come, he started to get pissed off, and perhaps she stood him up. "Where the hell is she?" he got onto the walky talky, " Zarbon, come in Zarbon! Where the hell are you?" Zarbon meanwhile was chilling in the restroom in front of the mirror looking at his thick hair and picking at it, "Zarbon, where are you!"

Then Zarbon realized that Dodoria was talking to him through the walky talky, "Oh sorry, yes I'm here."

"Where is she?"

"I don't know I'm in the men's restroom." Zarbon said.

Then a man walked up to Zarbon, "Excuse me sir, could you please put soap on my hands?" It is hard to believe that someone could mistaken someone as elegant as Zarbon as a bathroom attendant.

"Hold on Dodoria, sir I don't work here."

"I'll give you five dollars."

Oh, what the hell, "Deal!"

Back in the big dining room Liya showed up, "Excuse me, but I'm looking for my date." Dodoria once again talked into the radio, it was not that he had never been on a date; it is just that it's been forever since his last date.

"Zarbon, she's here do I do?"

"Go up to her!"

Another man came up to Zarbon mistaking him for a bathroom attendant again, "Can you dry my hands?"

"I don't work here!"

"Please?"

Zarbon then thought about it for a little while, "How much?"

"Twelve dollars."

"All right then."

Dodoria had a look on his face as if he did not know what was going on. "All right, here it goes!" He walked shyly up to her, "Hello Liya."

All the sudden she looked at Dodoria, and for some strange reason he looked like a handsome man in place of his ugly self, and skinner too, a handsome man with no hair and with spikes on his head. "Wow do I know you?"

Perhaps she was playing coy with him," What? We work together remember?" he said bewildered.

She laughed, "God you're so funny! I have never seen you before in my life! God you're more handsome then I thought!"

Dodoria got nervous, "Will you excuse me?" he walked over to a plant in the corner and got out his walky talky, " Zarbon she thinks I'm someone else, Zarbon where are you?"

Zarbon had some other problems to worry about, "No I don't work here damn it!"

"Zarbon what the hell are you doing?"

Zarbon finally got on the walky talky again, "Yes Dodoria I'm here."

"Is this some kind of joke?" he asked confused.

"No people actually think I work here, I'm not even dressed like I work here!" said Zarbon.

Dodoria turned the most crimson as he had ever turned in his life, he was mad, "No, not that you glamour puss, did you give me some kind of poison that made me look more attractive?"

"Yes I did."

"Zarbon why did you do that, I thought that she wanted to go on a date with me!"

Oh, how to tell Dodoria the truth, it would hurt, but so what, "I haven't been completely honest with you! She doesn't know it's you because I did make a potion that makes you more attractive to the one you like."

Dodoria was angry, "Oh Zarbon you durok!"

Zarbon became very confused, "I'm sorry what's a durok?"

Dodoria finally realized that he said the wrong word, "Sorry I must have picked it up from Shasha, he calls his wife an idiot all the time."

Zarbon sighed, "Right. Just keep on deceiving her, until the potion wears off."

Dodoria was mad, "I don't want it to wear off!"

Another man came up to Zarbon thinking the same thing, "Hold on Dodoria, no sir I don't work here!"

"Zarbon you're worthless! Oh, ok Dodoria you can do this!" he went back over to Liya, "Hi my name is uh…."

She interrupted him, "Tell me your name at the table!" She had been in a hurry to sit down; some small talk would not have hurt her.

"Ok sure." They went to the table and they both sat down.

Liya looked annoyed, "I notice that you didn't even pull a chair out for me."

Ops, someone did not learn this or maybe it was because Dodoria did not give a shit, he was excessively selfish, "Oh was I supposed to?"

She fluttered her eyes, "So tell me your name."

Oh no a name, he did not have a fake name, "My name is hold on a second!" He got up and went over to the corner again and gets on the walky talky, "Zarbon come in!"

"Yes what is it now?" Zarbon asked impatiently.

"What's my name?" Dodoria asked.

"I thought it was Dodor….."

"No you glamour puss, my fake name! " that should have originally been a rhetorical question.

"Oh dear, uh... I shall call you Maxim the third!" Zarbon said randomly making up a name.

"What that's a retarded name!" yelled Dodoria full of rage.

"Take it or leave it!"

"Fine!" Dodoria went back to the table, "Sorry about that, my name is Maxim the third."

She looked at him, "Really? Are you related to the famous millionaire Maxim the first?"

He then smiled, "Yes I'm his grandson."

Liya somehow knew in her womanly instinct that Dodoria was lying to her. "Hum I don't believe he had any children."

"I say we order some food!" said Dodoria all excited.

Meanwhile in the bathroom, someone walked up to Zarbon, "Excuse me, but I need someone to put the hand dryer on."

Now Zarbon was starting to get annoyed, people asked him all sorts of questions that all night, "Why are you asking me?"

"Because you work here don't you?" what a question!

"No I happen to work for the evil galactic tyrant Freezer!" he said as if he was about to rip the guy to shreds.

The man stared at Zarbon, "So are you going to turn the hand dryer on for me, I have 100 dollars."

Zarbon's eyes grew wide, "Ok fine." He turned the hand dryer on.

Dodoria was eating a whole smorgasbord, while Liya was watching in terror as he was eating with his mouth open and he was belching, he could not help but notice her staring at him, "What are you looking at?"

She cracked a fake smile, "Sorry you just remind me of this one guy I work with, are you two cousins?" she asked.

"What's his name?" he asked.

She frowned, "Dodoria."

He spit his food out on her face, "What is he like?"

She frowned, took a hanky and wiped her face, "Oh he's just so horrible! He used to pick on Zarbon and I and he used to mock me each time I spoke my mind. He also eats with his mouth open like a barbarian, and he farts and belches at the table, and all Freezer does is laugh his butt off while Zarbon and I are just so disgusted."

Dodoria let out a loud fart, "That's so disgusting," she said.

He smiled, "So do you think he's good looking?"

Liya looked at him with rage, "No!"

He then sighed, "I didn't think so." There was an awkward silence.

"Right love are you going to pay for all of this?" she asked as she was putting lipstick on.

Dodoria's eyes grew wide and turned a brownish color again, "Hell no I don't have any money."

She was horrified, "All right then. I guess I'll just pay for it myself. "

"No I'll be right back!" He ran straight to the restroom to find poor Zarbon scrubbing someone's hand. Zarbon then thought, "God this is so embarrassing."

Dodoria shoved two other men waiting to get whatever they wanted Zarbon to do, "Get out of the way man!" He took the guy who Zarbon was working with and he threw him into one of those stalls. "Zarbon do you have any money?"

Zarbon took all the money he earned from the people he helped in the restroom, "Here you go!" he gave the money to Dodoria.

"Great!" He ran out of the restroom.

"I can't believe how lazy people are on this planet; I have to work for a living." Zarbon said in disbelief.

Someone else came up to Zarbon, "Hey can you change the toilet paper?"

That was the last straw, "No!" he walked out of the restroom.

Next day Dodoria knocked on the Zarbon's door, "Just a minute!" he opened the door, "So how did your date go?"

"She asked me out on another date! I have to appear attractive to her, again!" Zarbon looked at Dodoria impatient, "Right." then she came, Liya that graceful creature, she walked up to Zarbon, "Hello Zarbon!" she gave an angry scowl to Dodoria, "Will you get out of here dodo brain!"

He snorted, "Yes lady!" he ran away fast.

"You know that's the fastest that I've seen Dodoria run." Liya said.

"What can I say; he's just getting ready for that mission." Zarbon laughed, "So how was your date last night?"

She looked at him all crossed, "It was all right, I'm going to give him another chance, but I don't think he really cares for me, I mean he eats like a pig and it's just disgusting! A princess shouldn't be drawn to that at all."

"What do you want me to do about it?" asked Zarbon.

"Tell Maxim that I want to see him again."

What was with the mixed signals? "Who knows maybe he's closer then you think." Zarbon said smiling.

"He sure is good looking though, I'm thinking about asking him as a dinner date." Bad idea.

"All right then it's a done deal, I'll tell him right away." Zarbon said.

"All right then see you tonight at dinner." She walked away like the graceful looking swan she was.

"Right to the potion!" He ran back into his room, "Blacky I have to find some of those mushroom hallucinates and rose dust, so that she doesn't suspect a thing." Zarbon said.

He looked into an old spell book, " Let's see now, how much of the rose dust do I put in again, I never have been good at math, being handsome is the only thing I'm good at!" He chuckled and started pouring the rose dust, it was powerful stuff, "Just kidding!"

All the sudden Blacky Zarbon's black Devon Rex cat stared at him and used his telepathic powers on Zarbon for the first time talking in a British accent, " Zarbon what are you doing!"

"AHHHH!" He was so spooked that he accidently dropped the bottle into the cauldron, "Oh shit! I wonder who that was trying to talk to me, God I have a migraine I think." Zarbon said putting his hand in his forhead.

All the sudden Blacky tried to communicate with him again, "Why must you help him, he's just trying to take advantage of you!"

The voice inside his mind spooked Zarbon once again, "All right who are you! You won't have your way with me!" Zarbon said.

"Zarbon it's me your cat Blacky." Zarbon looked down at the simple cat and it meowed.

"Blacky you talk?" he asked innocently.

"No you narcissistic pretty boy, I can communicate with you telepathically, I'm not just any ordinary cat, I'm a familiar spirit who was born into a body of a black Devon Rex. Your mother sent my spirit to be reborn into this body to guide you throughout your life, at least until my physical body dies." Blacky said.

"Relax you haven't used any of your lives up yet! " he laughed trying to calm himself down because he was still in shock.

Blacky glared at Zarbon, "Enough of the lame puns, don't give Dodoria that potion it's asking for trouble, you're betraying your best friend to this moron who don't have any respect for you at all."

"But Freezer said he wanted to see them together, I don't have a choice Blacky." Zarbon said.

"You could have just bribed Liya I'm sure she would have been willing to please Freezer even though she despises him." Blacky thought.

This was a horrible time to ask Blacky so many questions, his timing could not have been any worse, "Never mind I have no time to listen to you, I have to make this potion." He ran over to the microwave.

Blacky rolled his eyes, "Oh Serena, look at your son, he hasn't learned a thing! Oh well!" he then started licking his paw.

At night, everyone was at the table, including Zarbon, "So are Dodoria and Liya together?" Freezer asked.

"Oh they're together all right." Zarbon smiled a fake smile. How was this going to work when someone could say to Liya that she was delusional?

"This is going to be so good!" Freezer said all excited.

Dodoria walked into the room with Liya, "Oh Liya I never knew how special you were!"

"Oh Maxim you have such a sexy name!" Yes, she was still delusional; everyone looked at them in shock even Freezer had a surprised look on his face.

Vegeta whispered to Shasha, "What is up with Dodo brain and Liya? Since when were they attracted to each other?"

Shasha shrugged his shoulders, " I tried to ask that myself."

Freezer looked over at Zarbon, "Maxim? Zarbon I need to talk to you for a moment, now! "He got out of his seat and Zarbon followed him out of the dining room. After they were outside the dining room, Freezer looked at Zarbon confused, "What is up with Liya calling him Maxim?"

"Beats me!" Zarbon said pretending not to know anything.

Freezer glared at Zarbon with his red eyes, " Zarbon, tell me what is going on!"

Zarbon grew terrified, "Uh well I gave Dodoria some rose dust with mushrooms and he swallowed them and it blocked Liya's judgment thinking he's handsome?"

Freezer now frowned, "Zarbon you put a curse on him didn't you?"

Zarbon was nervous, "Hey how can it be a curse when he's the one who's having fun!"

Freezer continued to glare at Zarbon, "Zarbon, you know those mushrooms and rose dust make people hallucinate! So tell me something, how come Dodoria isn't the one who's hallucinating?"

It was time to come clean, "I never gave him the damn potion."

"What?" Freezer asked all shocked.

" I pretended to so he can be a little more confident, but what he doesn't know is that I made some brownies that I gave to Liya and I convinced her to eat them!" it's hard to believe he had finally come clean.

Freezer was still puzzled, "What? So let me get this straight, you gave the mushrooms and rose dust to Liya and it wasn't Dodoria like the audience and the other characters of this episode thought?" The twist probably did not surprise anyone reading the story.

" Yes."

Freezer starting tisking, "You sure are convoluted! I like you! " They walked back to the dining room.

Back in the dining room, they began eating. "So Maxim have you ever hear that song "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds?" asked Liya.

Dodoria didn't listen to earth music, so he made up a lie and made it up quick, "Oh yah I like that song!" and then said impatiently, "What the hell kind of song title is that?"

Liya started laughing, "It's so funny Maxim and I have the same favorite song!"

Shasha smiled and decided to be sarcastic, "And what your favorite song?" Liya and Dodoria ignored Shasha.

"Was it something by the Beatles or not?" asked Liya testing Dodoria.

"No?" Dodoria guessed.

Liya rolled her eyes, "Not very bright are you? Nonetheless, I cannot wait to sleep with you! " She yelled aloud.

"Me either! I can't wait to tell my friends all about it!" Everyone at the table looked at them funny.

Vegeta got grossed out, "Get a room you two!"

" Yah Dodor….." Shasha did not finish, Zarbon stepped on his foot. "Ouch! Кто делал этот?"

Vegeta needed some reason to insult Dodoria, "Yah dodo brain what kind of a name is Dodor…." Zarbon covered Vegeta's mouth.

"Well look at the time it's about your bed time!" Zarbon said.

"But it's only 7:00." Freezer said.

"All the more reason to get a good night's rest!" Zarbon took Vegeta out of the room.

"This is one strange night," Shasha said.

Freezer then beckoned Shasha with this finger, "Come here Shasha." He whispered into his ear, and Shasha smiled and laughed.

"So Maxim do you speak Russian?" Shasha asked smiling sarcastically.

Of course Dodoria didn't, "Oh Shasha you know I don't."

Liya glared at Dodoria, "Do you two know each other?"

Shasha decided to play along, "Yes we were classmates." He laughed and Freezer laughed too.

Apple did not know what to think, "What's going on?"

Shasha leaned over to Apple, "I'll tell you what's going on." He whispered into Apple's ear, Apple smiled and then he whispered to Kiwi.

"So I see, you need to tell me a joke like that again." Kiwi said.

Liya looked at Kiwi with wide eyes, "Oh what kind of joke is that?"

"Oh you wouldn't think it's very funny." Kiwi said quickly saving his own skin.

"Never mind if it's not my type of joke then I don't want to hear it." Liya said.

Zarbon returned to the dining room, "Well that took care of that." He jived his hands together.

Freezer looked at Zarbon, "Where's Vegeta?"

"Oh he's somewhere where he won't be such a pest."

Meanwhile, Vegeta had his cape tied to a coat hanger and he was hanging from it, "You'll pay for this zippy!"

Back in the dining room, Liya and Dodoria started making out and everyone was watching with horror. "Ew I'm going to be sick." Apple got up, held his mouth, and ran out of the dining room.

"Yah I agree this is so sick, I have to go!" Kiwi got up and left too.

"Me too!" Shasha got up and left.

It was awkward and quiet other then Dodoria and Liya making out with one another, Zarbon then stood up, "I need to feed Blacky!" and left.

Freezer was the only one left, he tapped his fingers onto the table then decided, "Yah I think it's best if we cancel dinner! This is just too horrible to watch!" he ran out of there as fast as he could.

"I say we have sex!" yelled Dodoria.

"I agree let's go!" Liya and Dodoria went to her room.

Dodoria and Liya were having sex in her bed, "Yes give it to me good Maxim! Don't ever leave me! "

He looked confused and unsure, "I'll try not to!"

She plugged her nose up, "Although you need a bath really badly, you smell like the sewers of London.

" You haven't even been to England." He said.

"No I haven't I don't give a flying fuck if I've been." They snickered and all the sudden Dodoria appeared ugly to her like his old self, the rose dust and mushrooms wore off, "What the hell? EWWWW!" She screamed and ran out of the room with her bed sheet covering her.

Dodoria forgot to cover up and went out of the room butt naked, "Liya come back! Oh well fuck her!"

Zarbon ran up too Dodoria with curlers in his hair, he needed to curl his hair for tomorrow for God knows what reason, "What happened?"

"She found out."

Zarbon shrugged his shoulders, "What can I say you win some you lose some."

Then Dodoria said aloud randomly, "Say what ever happened to Vegeta?"

Vegeta was still on that coat rack pissed of like crazy, all the sudden Shasha came up to him, "Get me down from here!"

Shasha smiled, "So you want down do you? Hey, guys I found piñata! "

Kiwi and Apple showed up, "Come on Apple, this Sayain isn't going to bat itself!" said Kiwi taking out a baseball bat.

"I'll stuff him with candy!" Apple held up some candy.

Vegeta got scared, "NOOOOO!"

Apple looked at Kiwi, "What can't he take a joke?"

End of Story


	7. Chapter 7

_Mating Season Sucks_

One day Zarbon was sitting in the garden sitting on a huge rock, he took a rose and smelled it, "Man these flowers need to be replanted." He said throwing the rose to the other side of the garden, all the sudden Freezer came up behind him.

"Good morning Zarbon! I need to have a talk to you!" Freezer said sitting down next to Zarbon.

"Yes lord Freezer what is it?" Zarbon asked thinking that maybe Freezer wanted to give him another blowjob, which did not happen in years, for Freezer rather outgrew Zarbon.

"Zarbon you know how I want you to wait until I die to find a mate?" Freezer asked.

"Does that mean you'll let me find one?" Zarbon asked excitedly.

"Not so fast! You still need to wait; I just want to warn you that during mating season, since your species are especially horny around this time of year, you need to keep your pants on." Freezer said.

"Freezer we've had this talk since I was five, why do you lecture me about this every single year?" Zarbon asked embarrassed.

"Because I raised you and I want you to wait until I die." Freezer said.

"I get the message, but I do have a question, does it matter if I marry a man or a woman?" Zarbon asked.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Freezer asked.

"I'm stuck on the fence." Zarbon said.

"You mean you're bi?" Freezer asked.

"Yes that's kind of what I was trying to tell you…" Freezer interrupted Zarbon.

"Well stop beating around the bush!" Freezer said annoyed.

"I'm sorry, I can't help it that I'm attracted to women and men, I mean women are so good-looking and sweet and men are handsome and so protective, but at the same time I don't really need protection from a man, so I guess I should marry a woman then?" Zarbon asked shrugging his shoulders.

"Whatever just remember what I told you!" Freezer then got up and walked away.

"God mating season is so demanding." Zarbon thought.

"Hello Zarbon!" Zarbon turned around, it was one of Freezer's sex slaves Tuscan, he was a man, but he was also the same species as Zarbon, a primal changeling.

"Hello what's up?" Zarbon asked.

"I think you look good today." Tuscan said smiling at Zarbon.

"Yes so do you, right on primal changelings rule?" Zarbon said sarcastically.

"I need to show you something." Tuscan said.

Zarbon then panicked, he was afraid that Tuscan would ask him for a blowjob, but then again he went along with it anyways, "Ok show me what you need to show me!" Zarbon said.

All the sudden Tuscan transformed into a hideous beast just like Zarbon did, "So do I look strong enough to adopt a child with you?" He asked.

"Are you challenging me to a fight?" Zarbon asked nervously.

"Oh yah the mating…" All the sudden Zarbon interrupted Tuscan by taking him by the arm and threw him to the other side of the garden.

"What the hell was that all about?" He wondered and went inside.

Later on in the cafeteria, Zarbon was sitting with Kiwi and Apple his two best friends in the world, "So Tuscan challenged me to a fight!" Zarbon said.

"Why? People rarely challenge you to fights, not because you're strong, but just because you're so refined I guess." Apple said.

"I think Tuscan told me that he had his eye on Zarbon for a long time now." Kiwi said eating a tuna sandwich.

"What, that makes no sense at all, he challenge me to a fight today! How could he love me and challenge me to a fight?" Zarbon asked.

"Are you sure it was a fight he challenged you to?" Apple asked.

"I'm pretty sure it was a challenge I have no idea what else it would be…" Before Zarbon could finish one of Freezer's other primal changeling sex slaves came up to the table, "Hello Zarbon nice weather we're having." It was Lana, what did she want?

"Hello Lana, oh you won't believe this Tuscan challenged me to a fight and I haven't a clue why, have I offended him in any way?" Zarbon said.

She rolled her eyes, "Well that's strange, I believe it's quite the opposite really, I hear him ramble on that he wanted to adopt a child with you." She said.

"Hum?" Kiwi asked with his eyes growing wide.

"That's strange so he likes me and hates me at the same time?" Zarbon asked.

"But I want you more!" She said, all the sudden she transformed into an ugly monster.

"Ew we're trying to eat Lana!" Kiwi said.

"Maybe I'll try later then." Lana said walking away from the table.

"Did she just challenge me to a fight also?" Zarbon asked even more confused than the last time.

"I don't think so," Apple said stuffing his face with potato chips.

Later on Zarbon was working out at the gym, when all the sudden another one of Freezer's primal changeling sex slaves came over to him, "Hello Zarbon how are you doing?" Quenta asked with twilight in her eyes.

"I'm just lifting weights so that I can stay in shape, since when do you work out?" Zarbon asked.

"I just started yesterday," Quenta said.

"Maybe I could be your personal trainer then." Zarbon said.

"Maybe, but I don't need one, I just want a mate is all, you know it is mating season." Quenta said.

"So what?" Zarbon asked.

"So I have been known to bore strong children, and I can prove my point too!" She said.

Are you saying that you want me to impregnate you, Freezer wouldn't like that at all…" Before Zarbon could finish, she transformed into an ugly creature and he was shocked, "Why do you want to fight, I have nothing against you!" Zarbon then got so mad that he walked out of the gym.

"What a strange man!" Quenta said.

Zarbon was not sure about what to do next, and then he thought of an idea, whenever he wanted to know more about anything he always used to the library!

He went to the library in the palace, which only royalty could use, that included all the Cold family and himself, with the exception of Kiwi and Apple his two best friends in the world, oh yah and Liya his ex girlfriend of a different species.

He was reading more about his own species, "Looking for something?" It was Vegeta, what the hell was he doing in the library, he was not allowed into the library.

"Vegeta you know you're not allowed in here right, you're going to get into big trouble." Zarbon warned.

"No you misunderstand I don't crave for knowledge in the way you do, I'm here to run an errand for Freezer." Vegeta said.

"Meaning?" Zarbon asked lifting an eyebrow suspiciously.

"Meaning that I need to get a book on sexual positions." Vegeta said.

"Uh god damn it, Freezer is such a pervert, so have you found the book yet?" Zarbon asked.

"No I can't read I can't find any books on sexual positions what-so-ever! This is my first errand ever that I've been running for Freezer and he got this idea that I can read." Vegeta said blushing.

"Oh why didn't you say that you needed help finding a book? Here I'll help you find one." Zarbon then looked for a book on sexual positions and found an old copy of _Kama Sutra Changelings Style_. "Here you go," Zarbon said.

"Thanks," Vegeta said smiling he then skipped out of the library, "Sucker." He said laughing in his head.

Zarbon looked for hours in the book then he realized that he made a huge boo-boo, "I don't understand, I don't see anything in here but sexual positions, uh Freezer has the worst books ever!" Zarbon then put the book back and walked out of the library.

Zarbon then turned to his last resort, his ex trainer and brother-in-law Shasha. He was a mean, rapist that was the best friend of Dodoria and together they would hurt innocent people including the rape of unsuspecting females. Even though Shasha married Zarbon's younger half sister and abused her on a daily basis and he was a primal changeling also, he was the only one who know stuff about Zarbon's species.

Well Zarbon had to see him, "What the hell do you want? Do you need to learn how to not be pussy anymore?" Shasha asked in his thick Russian accent as he was lifting weights.

"No its nothing like that, the other primal changelings have been going around transforming in front of me for some weird reason, I of course assume they want to fight…" Shasha interrupted Zarbon.

"How dumb are you? Do you have any idea what time it is?" Shasha asked.

"It's precisely twenty-three hundred hours." Zarbon said looking at the big clock on the wall.

"No sit down I need to have talk with you!" Shasha said pulling Zarbon by the arm so he could sit down next to him. "Its mating season you naïve idiot!" Shasha said.

"So what." Zarbon said.

"So when people usually go around transforming in front of you that means they want to bore you children, strong children like their mamas!" Shasha said.

"Oh Tuscan transformed too." Zarbon said.

Shasha rolled his eyes, "Yah because he's gay! The only reason why he would even transform in front of you is because he's trying to show that he's potential mate so that you two can be compatible for one another." Shasha said.

"But I don't like him, nor do I like Lana or Quenta that way also." Zarbon said.

"You had no idea that transforming also meant looking for a new mate?" Shasha asked.

"No you never told me nor did Freezer!" Zarbon said.

"Freezer doesn't want you to take your pants off at any time, so keep them on! Try to resist no matter how hard people badly want you!" Shasha said.

"You're right I need to swallow my feelings and appear more prideful!" Zarbon said.

"Good boy now get the hell away from me!" Shasha said.

All week Zarbon did the best he could to resist the women and male primal changelings that either wanted to mate with him or adopt with him. It was going as planned, then she walked back into his life, her name was Darla.

She lived in the orphanage that Freezer built for all the orphans so that they could be trained to be military assassins, better known as low-level solders, it so happened that Darla did such a good job that she was to meet with Freezer to decide if she was ready to go onto the military ranks with the big guys.

She had grown prettier since the last time Zarbon saw her, she was now fifteen whereas Zarbon was twenty-five, oh, that cursed age where his mother was fifteen and his father was twenty-five when they met and married.

Zarbon was sitting at the table with Kiwi and Apple, "So are you doing a good job of not mating with the other primal changelings?" Kiwi asked.

"I always wondered why they came up to me all these years; damn I should have asked Shasha a long time ago." Zarbon said eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

All the sudden she walked up to the table, "Hello Zarbon!" Darla said.

Zarbon was so startled that he nearly choked on the sandwich he was eating, but he managed to get the piece of bread out of his throat, "Do I know you?" He asked.

"Remember me Darla?" Darla asked smiling.

"You mean that orphan that I had to babysit along with the other orphans that Freezer picked up; oh my God I didn't recognize you! Come here!" Zarbon said grabbing her and hugging her tightly.

Kiwi and Apple looked at one another stupefied; they knew very well what was going on since Zarbon was a man and they were men. Men usually could read other men very well, whereas it was the same for women, "I've missed you! Why didn't you answer back?" Darla asked.

"You wrote a letter to me?" Zarbon asked shocked.

"Yes many as the matter of fact!" She said.

"I forgot to mention this earlier; Freezer's solders aren't allowed to get letters from acquaintances or from orphans in training, just from their parents or wives slash husbands." Apple said.

"So that means that all the letters I wrote to you were useless?" Darla asked.

"Not useless, just not accessible." Kiwi said.

"God this planet sucks, I'm so happy to see you. My you've grown prettier since the last time I saw you." Zarbon said smiling big.

"Yah I know I have haven't I? Well I'll see you around I guess." She then laughed and went away.

Zarbon was staring at her, and smiling, "Zarbon hello, what is the matter with you?" Kiwi asked.

"Nothing Kiwi, it's just as if my heart started beating more after it died a long time ago." Zarbon said looking dreamy eyed.

"Uh oh, I think we better have a talk with him." Apple said.

"It could just be nothing, I mean each time I look at females and think their hot I forget them in a second." Kiwi said.

"I don't think that's the case with Zarbon." Apple said worried.

After lunch Zarbon did everything he could to look for her, she was the only thing on his mind, for once it was not Liya, his friends nor himself. Then he bumped into Liya, his ex girlfriend, "Liya how are you doing?" Zarbon asked.

"I just got back from a mission; I have to go to ballet class to teach my students. Why do you look so shocked to see me?" Liya asked.

"I'm not shocked it's just that I'm in a hurry." Zarbon said.

"For what?" Liya asked.

"I have a mission to go on too!" Zarbon said.

"Well I won't get in your way then, chero!" Liya said walking to her room.

"Shit I forgot about Liya!" Zarbon said.

Although he and Liya broke up a long time ago, they had secret feelings for one another, despite the fact that she was a different species than him and that Freezer forbade her to love him as well. That did not help much; she was stubborn as a bull and usually did not let Freezer control her own feelings.

Zarbon then went on his marry way and then he spotted Vegeta in the hallway reading that book that he was supposed to get to Freezer, he was snickering as he was looking at it, Zarbon got mad and walked over to him, "So did Freezer ever get that book you were supposed to get to him?" Zarbon asked crossing his arms.

Vegeta was shocked, "It's not what it looks like!" Vegeta yelled.

"How old are you now?" Zarbon asked.

"I'm seventeen years old," Vegeta said.

"Look I won't tell Freezer on you if you don't look at those kinds of materials anymore." Zarbon said.

"I'm only seventeen isn't it normal for a man to be curious about sex?" Vegeta asked.

"Look I don't have time for this; I have problems of my own!" Zarbon said.

"Are you bitching about another mission to go on, I could go on it for you." Vegeta said.

"No that's not it; I have to go see yah!" Zarbon then ran off.

"What's wrong with glamour-puss? He's acting stranger than ever!" Vegeta thought to himself.

Zarbon then bumped into Apple and Kiwi, "Zarbon sit down we need to have a talk!" Apple said.

"But I'm in a hurry!" Zarbon said.

"Going where?" Kiwi asked.

"I need to go on another mission!" Zarbon said.

"Freezer hasn't sent you on a mission for months, sit down now!" Kiwi said pushing Zarbon to the ground.

"Hey what gives?" Zarbon asked angry.

"Freezer told you not to mate with another primal changeling!" Kiwi said.

"Is this about Darla?" Zarbon asked.

"Yes this is about her, we know what you're up to, look we don't hate you it's just that you could get into trouble if you mate with her and she could get into trouble too for mating with you! Freezer specifically said that you weren't to make love to anyone until he died!" Apple said.

"Fuck Freezer, I need to follow my own heart! I can no longer control my own animal instincts! I want to be a daddy!" Zarbon then got up, pushed both Kiwi and Apple down and ran away from them as fast as he could.

"He's out of control!" Kiwi yelled.

"Don't worry, me knowing Zarbon he won't get to mate with her." Apple said.

"What are you talking about?" Kiwi asked.

"Usually when a primal changeling finds a mate he will be required to transform so that she will accept him as the father of their children. She too has to do the same, or else the mating ritual is useless." Apple said.

"Politics, I don't understand them, I guess Zarbon will have to find out the hard way then." Kiwi said.

"Sad but true." Apple said closing his eyes, he felt badly for Zarbon.

Meanwhile Liya was hiding behind the corner the whole time, when she heard about this she was ticked, no not even ticked more like pissed, "So that's what he's after! He hasn't been on a mission for months! I knew he was lying to me! That backstabber, I'll find this Darla and I'll give it to her good!" Liya thought to herself.

Zarbon continued to look for Darla then he smelled her close-by, hid behind the door of Freezer's throne room, and caught up with her, "Hello Darla I need to talk to you!" Zarbon said.

"Hello Zarbon, would you like to go somewhere private?" Darla asked.

"Yes that's what I was trying to tell you in the first place, let's go!" Zarbon grabbed her by the arm and took her outside.

Liya spotted them and got angry, "Son of a bitch!" Liya then followed them into the canyon.

Zarbon sat down awkwardly not having a clue as to how the mating ritual went, he smiled that was all he could do, "Look let's get this over, I have found the other part of me therefore I shall transform first to show what a great mother I could make for your children!" Darla said.

"What do you mean transform first?" Zarbon asked.

"Simple, I'm going to show you that I'm a compatible mate for you!" She then started to transform, she looked ugly and this made Zarbon uncomfortable.

"Excuse me I don't think I can do this!" He said.

"Why not? You want to impregnate me don't you?" Darla asked in her rough English sounding accent.

"I'm beginning to think that maybe my career as a general is more important than starting a family right now!" Zarbon said.

Zarbon was only partially lying the only reason why being a general was important was because Freezer would have him murdered if it was not important to him. He also did not want to transform, it did not make sense to him as why he should transform just to mate with a girl that he liked.

He did not even like to transform anyways, he was raised by a different species that taught him that love was found through compatibility not through transforming. It was so silly to him, but now he was stuck in a pickle, he liked Darla lot, maybe he was a little in love with her, but he did not want to have to transform just to prove it, it was a waste of time to him.

"Do you at least want to have sex with me then?" Darla asked.

Zarbon got even more nervous, he did not like his other form, and so what made him think that he would like hers'? "I think my timing is a little bit off." Zarbon said.

"Yes it most certainly is!" It was Liya; she was pissed off as hell. She looked like she wanted to kill someone.

"Liya long time no see, I'm so happy to see…" Liya interrupted Darla.

"Get away from him bitch he's mine!" Liya said she, blinded by jealousy that she completely forgotten that she and Zarbon were not going study. She had a possessive nature about her that got so out of control that Freezer suspended from missions a lot of the time.

"Liya how many times do I have to tell you that we're not going study? Why should I go back out with you since you dumped me for that Carpathian prince and you cheated on me with him?" Zarbon said.

"Because we had something special and he's dead!" Liya said.

"Liya you need to calm down!" Zarbon said.

"No I won't!" Liya then marched up to Darla and slapped her in the face. "That's for stealing my man from me!" Liya said.

"You bitch!" Darla said.

"Please ladies don't fight I'm going to tell on both of you if you don't stop it!" Zarbon said.

"There won't be any tattling, tattle tale!" Liya said, she then slammed into Darla and Darla ended up against a rock.

"Stop it Liya, you're getting out of control!" Zarbon said.

"I'm going to kill you bitch!" Darla then picked Liya up and threw her into a bolder. "Yah let's see you copy me bitch, I'm tall enough to kick your ass!" Darla said.

"Darla why don't we go somewhere before…" Zarbon then stopped talking, Liya got up and then she started to change shape, she got taller, more bulky and her mouth got wider, she grew sharp teeth, she grew an extra mouth too, for the first time in his life, Zarbon was intimated by a woman. "Liya you transform too?" Zarbon asked.

"Duh! That Carpathian prince was the one that taught me how to transform! That's why Freezer fired you from going on those important missions! He asked me to replace you while you got weaker hanging out with Kiwi and Apple those low-level solders! At least I have the guts to kill with a vengeance unlike you! You're too soft to even consider beating the living crap out of the women and children that Freezer wants dead!" Liya said.

"Hey those low-level solders are my friends! Don't talk about them that way! Maybe they were right about you all along, you are a psychotic bitch!" Zarbon said.

"No I'm not!" Liya then started chasing Darla around, who was still in her other form, "I'll eat you for breakfast bitch!" Liya yelled.

"Help, someone help!" Darla yelled, then Liya grabbed onto Darla's hair, which was in a braid and she started pulling it, "Couldn't you do more than just act like a girl?" Darla asked.

"Shut up bitch!" Liya yelled.

Zarbon did not want Liya to kill Darla, he knew that Liya was a jealous bitch that lashed out on anyone that looked at him, and it was not his fault that Liya was so jealous. However, this was going too far, he knew she was a badass, but she had proven to be more aggressive than even Dodoria or Shasha.

Zarbon frowned and got up, he had had it up to here, "Get away from her Liya, I'll hit you if you don't!" Zarbon said.

"We'll see about that!" Liya then ran after Zarbon, she pounced on his and started beating him up. Zarbon did not waste any time, he decided that he felt afraid enough to transform so that's what he did, he turned into that ugly creature that Liya ran away from long ago when she showed his new ability off to her when they were children, "Now it's my turn!" Zarbon said.

He threw her off him, he roared at her, and then all the sudden Freezer showed up, "What the hell is going on here? I heard screaming and roaring while I was tanning!" Freezer said taking his sunglasses off, he got a good sunburn.

Freezer walked over to Liya and stepped on her foot, "Damn it Liya what did I tell you about getting into random fights?" Freezer asked.

Liya was scared as a kitten, "I don't know sir, I…" Freezer interrupted her.

"I'm going to have to execute you for causing so much trouble for what you should have saved for on your missions!" Freezer said.

"So that's how she was able to take over those planets in days, because she transformed and they mistaken her for a small weak woman. All this time I thought she was making the whole thing up!" Zarbon thought, then he transformed back.

"Darla what the hell are you transformed for?" Freezer asked.

"I'm practicing my moves on Zarbon!" She said, she then transformed back as well.

"Liya I want to see you in my office now!" Freezer said grabbing her by one of her jaws.

"Ouch do you have to pull so hard?" Liya asked.

"Oh no he's going to kill Liya!" Zarbon said about to cry.

"Hello she just tried to kill me, you love her don't you?" Darla said about to sob.

"No its nothing like that…I…"

"Why even bother with a fool who is too vain to even transform?" Darla then angrily marched off.

"If you truly loved me then you would understand why I don't use transforming to mate with one of you! Never mind I would rather wait for the right person to come along instead of going after them!" Zarbon then snorted and went back to the palace.

Days later, Zarbon was so mad that he did not even come out of his room, Apple and Kiwi decided to visit him, "So how is everything?" Kiwi asked.

"Disastrous, but at least I'm glad that Liya was spared, but Darla doesn't even like me. She thinks I'm too much of a pussy to transform." Zarbon said.

"Don't worry about mating, a good mate will come for you when you least expect it, that's what my mom always told me." Apple said.

"No she's totally wrong about that, you can't just wait for it to happen, you have to go out and find a mate while you can!" Kiwi said.

"You're wrong Kiwi, if you do that then you will end up alone like poor Zarbon here!" Apple said.

"The only reason why he is alone is because he's not allowed to get a mate until he's married, but that doesn't mean he can't cheat a little bit!" Kiwi yelled.

"Waiting brings better luck Kiwi; didn't your mother always tell you that?" Apple asked getting furious with Kiwi.

"I never knew my mother; I was cloned in a science lab!" Kiwi said.

"Yah right, that's what we call wishful thinking!" Apple yelled.

"So what if its wishful thinking, it's much better than the way we reproduce!" Kiwi yelled.

Zarbon rolled his eyes, "Uh these two aren't helping with my agony right now!" Zarbon thought to himself. He sighed and started hitting himself on the head with a pillow.

End of Story


	8. Chapter 8

_Because I Got High_

Freezer and Shasha were arguing in the courtroom, and then Zarbon came in. "You wanted to see me master Freezer?" He asked.

"Yes we're having a debate about who will conquer the world on Planet Earth 2. I say the Japanese will, but Shasha thinks the Russians will." Freezer explained.

"Da Soviet power!" He hit his own chest.

Freezer then asked, "Which one of us are right?"

"If I had to choose I would say the Chinese will conquer the world, I mean the Russians don't have the resources to do it, and the Japanese aren't allowed to have military power, and the Americans are too nice." Zarbon said.

"What?" Freezer asked.

"Какой человек глупоц!" Shasha laughed.

"Да я сглосен!" Freezer said laughing too.

"Excuse me, but I don't speak Russian! Could you please translate for me?" Zarbon asked.

"Get out of my sight Zarbon! Go!" Freezer said.

"Fine!" Zarbon walked out of the throne room, "What a dumbfuck!" he said.

Zarbon's best friend and ex babysitter Apple walked up to him, "Hey Zarbon are you still coming to karaoke night?" asked Apple.

"Oh I don't know I have to work out tonight." Zarbon said.

"You've been working out too hard." Apple said.

"But…" Before Zarbon could finish Apple grabbed his arm.

"You're coming with me!" Apple led him to the karaoke room.

In the karaoke room, Cinnamon was on the stage singing, while Zarbon was smoking with Kiwi and Apple. "God I feel so relaxed!" Apple said puffing some smoke out.

"I feel good too; I've been smoking since I was 14." Zarbon said.

"Hey I got something for us to smoke that I stole from Earth!" Kiwi took out what appeared to be week in a plastic Ziploc bag.

"What the hell is that?" asked Zarbon.

"I don't know but the guy I got if from says that if you smoke it, that all of you dreams will come true." Kiwi said.

"Give me some of that! How do you do it?" asked Zarbon.

"I don't know I think it's one of those wishing cigarettes. You make a wish out loud and you light it and you smoke it." Apple said.

"Perhaps your right let me give it a go!" Zarbon said.

"Be careful Zarbon, I hope you know what you're doing!" Apple said.

Zarbon put the pot to his mouth, lit it, and blew smoke out, "I wish I could have eternal beauty!" Zarbon said.

"Hey what kind of a dumb wish is that?" asked Apple.

"Oh shut up and just light your joint!" Zarbon said.

"What should I wish for?" Apple asked, and then he lit the joint and blew smoke out, "I wish I could get married to the most beautiful woman in the world! Amy!" he was talking about Amy the Sphinx who was crippled and had to walk with a cane.

"Oh my God you like Amy that crippled sphinx? You poor fellow!" Kiwi laughed and then lit his joint and blew smoke out, "I wish I could kill Freezer and take over the universe myself!" he laughed.

"God Kiwi I had no idea that you were so power hungry!" Later on, they were laughing like jackasses.

"I can't believe you like Amy, she's the most talkative annoying woman on Planet Freezer!" Kiwi said.

"At least my wish was better than yours!" Apple said.

"You're both wrong, my wish was the most perfect wish in the world! And just to prove it, I say we get onto the stage and strip!" Zarbon said running onto stage.

"Let's do that! I'm sure everyone will find us sexy!" Kiwi said following him.

"Wait I have an idea, we can sing Chito Grito!" Apple said getting up and following them.

"What the hell is Chito Girto?" Kiwi asked.

"I don't know, but I saw it in a Soviet flick!" Apple said.

"You can get Soviet flicks? Wow!" Zarbon said. They arrived onto stage and pushed Cinnamon off the stage.

"We're going to sing Chito Grito!" Apple said into the microphone.

"No we're not! We're going to sing something even better!" Zarbon looked like he was about to burst into song and then he started giggling, "Sorry I forgot what I was going to sing! I'm the sexiest thing in the universe, why do I need to sing!" he laughed to the point where he looked almost purple.

"Oh my God if I were as good looking as you I would defiantly fuck Amy!" Apple said.

"God you have such a bad taste in women!" Kiwi said laughing.

Apple got pissed off, "Shut up!" Apple pushed Kiwi off the stage.

"Oh yah I'll show you!" Kiwi got back onto stage and started punching Apple and they got into a huge fight.

"Guys come on don't be such fools!" Zarbon said. He started singing with a bad singing voice, which was too bad because he usually sang well, "Русский народа! Не знаю эту песню!" Zarbon then laughed and fell on stage laughing, and then Kiwi and Apple started kissing each other on the lips.

Liya, Zarbon's ex girlfriend from childhood, was drinking a beer and staring at them with Amy the good-looking sphinx with the huge tits, which she held up in a pushup bra, "God men are such idiots!" Liya said.

"Yah I know, what do you think has gotten into them?" Amy asked.

"I knew Zarbon acted crazy sometimes, but this is beyond my reach." Liya said, lighting a cigarette and smoking it.

"Yah," Amy lit a cigarette. "I have a mission to go on I can't waste any time looking at these fools." Amy said.

Zarbon jumped off the stage doing a forward summersault, and ran over to those girls, "Hello ladies!" he said eccentrically. They just look at him like he was crazy, "Hey I thought you were supposed to faint or something!" Zarbon said.

"Nope, no way, I'm too worried about my daughter to worry about men like you." Amy said.

"Kiss me Amy!" Zarbon grabbed her and kissed her on the lips.

"Ew you smell bad! Let's get out of here Liya!" Amy said walking off.

"I agree!" Liya said following her, they left the karaoke bar together.

"Oh come on you know you want me! Hey Kiwi, Apple, I've just thought of a good song to sing!" Zarbon started to sing again, only this time he made more of an effort to sound good, "The total eclipse of the heart! And I need you more tonight!"

Just then, Zarbon saw Salsa coming in, "Hum," he thought, he walked over to Salsa, "Hello Salsa, how's it going?" He asked smiling.

"Why do you care?" Salsa asked in his French accent.

"Because you know you want me!" Zarbon licked his face.

"I'll tell my father on you!" Salsa said, after all he was secretly the hybrid son of Cooler.

"Not if I seduce you first." Zarbon gave him a 100 dollar bill, "Come on what do you say?" asked Zarbon.

"Ok fine," Salsa said.

Apple saw Zarbon flirting with Salsa, "Wait a minute!" he walked up to Zarbon, "Where do you think you're going?" Apple grabbed Zarbon and took him onto stage.

Zarbon woke up and felt like shit, "What in the hell happened last night?" Zarbon saw Kiwi and Apple lying on the floor, holding each other, "Oh my God what the hell are you guys doing in my quarters?" he asked.

"What?" Asked Kiwi who was half-awake.

"Good morning honey!" Apple then kissed Kiwi on the lips.

"Good morning Apple." Kiwi then opened his eyes wide and screamed and Apple did too, "Ew get away from me!" Kiwi yelled.

"Did we have sex?" asked Apple.

"What are you talking about? Oh my God your pants are off!" Kiwi said pointing to Apple.

"Yours are too!"

"That must mean!" Zarbon looked under the covers, "Oh my God, mine are too and I feel really sore!" Zarbon said.

"Ew don't tell me we did it with each other!" Kiwi said disguised.

"No we didn't but I feel sore too." Apple said.

"My butt hole feels sore!" Kiwi said they all looked at each other funny and then scream.

Later on they were at breakfast in the cafeteria and had strange looks on their faces, as they sat there eating breakfast, they were approached by Liya and Amy. "What in the world happened last night?" asked Liya.

"Nothing you can prove!" Zarbon said.

"What is that supposed to mean?" asked Amy.

"I think what Zarbon is trying say is that you can' t prove that anything happened last night without any evidence!" Apple said.

"Yah what the hell are you ladies talking about?" Kiwi asked.

"Are you all boyfriends now or something, or are we not invited to your crazy hour!" Liya asked.

"Sorry what is a crazy hour?" Zarbon asked.

"In other words you guys were beating each other up, Kiwi and Apple were kissing on the lips, and you Zarbon were singing God knows what." Amy said.

"That didn't happen, you have no evidence." Zarbon said.

"Oh yah?" Amy pulled out what appeared to be a videotape.

"Oh my God, am I really that silly?" Zarbon asked.

"Luckily we got the severance tape before anyone else could." Amy said.

"We have to hide it!" Zarbon said.

All the sudden, Freezer's voice came over the intercom, "Zarbon report to the court room immediately!"

"Coming!" Zarbon then ran off.

Zarbon was in the courtroom, "You wanted to see me?" Zarbon asked.

"Yes when I checked the severance videos this morning, guess what?" Freezer asked.

"What?" Zarbon asked.

"One of my videos was missing! I have no fucking idea where it went! Do you know?" Freezer said.

"I haven't an idea!" Zarbon lied.

"If I find out that you know where it is, I will come and get it!" Freezer said.

"Aren't you going to punish me?" Zarbon asked.

Freezer laughed, "I just want the tape, not your butt hole!"

"Oh that's disgusting!" Zarbon said.

"Now get out!" Freezer said.

"Yes sir!" Zarbon then ran out of the room.

Freezer watched the camera and he saw Liya with the tape taking it to Zarbon's room, "Yes I will get that tape." Freezer said.

Well later, Zarbon bumped into Salsa, "Stop right there!" Salsa said.

"What do you want?" asked Zarbon.

"You wanted to have your way with me!" Salsa said.

"I'm afraid I don't know what you mean." Zarbon said.

"You wanted to have sex with me remember?" asked Salsa.

"Oh I'm sorry Salsa; it was all because of this magic stuff I was smoking." Zarbon said.

"What magic stuff?" asked Salsa.

"It was something called a stash, actually there are many names for it." Zarbon said.

"You were smoking pot! I'm telling Freezer!" Salsa said.

"You have no proof!" Zarbon said running off.

All the sudden a radio went off and Salsa answered it, "Yes Freezer?" he asked.

"Go into Zarbon's room and get that damn tape! I need to watch it! He's hiding it, and I don't know why!" Freezer said.

"I'm onto it! Now how do I get a key for his room?" Salsa asked.

"Simple I believe that Liya has a key to his room." Freezer said.

"I'm on it! I'll seduce her!" Salsa walked up to Liya, "Hello Liya."

"Hello Salsa, what are you doing here?" asked Liya.

"Don't you want a real man?" Salsa asked.

"I'm sorry?" Liya asked.

"Oh don't play coy with me!" He put her chin in his hand, "I love the smell of your perfume! Mucho grande!" he said.

"Get off of me pervert!" She pushed him and she walked off.

"Damn it backfired! But it doesn't kill to follow her!" Salsa thought, all the sudden he saw Amy talking to Liya.

"I don't think it's safe for me to be carrying the extra key to Zarbon's room." Liya thought.

"No problem I'll take it!" Amy said.

"I don't know that doesn't sound like such a bright idea." Liya said.

"Come on please?" Amy asked.

Liya rolled her eyes, "All right, here it is." She gave the key to Amy.

"Bingo!" Salsa said. Liya went off, and he ran over to Amy, "Bonjur Amy!" Salsa said.

"Who are you?" asked Amy.

"I'm Cooler's son." Salsa said.

"You don't look like him." Amy said.

"I'm a hybrid." Salsa replied.

So what brings you to this neck of the woods?" asked Amy.

"I couldn't help but notice how beautiful you are."

Amy smiled, "Why thank you." She said.

Salsa then grabbed her, "Please madamossle, don't leave me alone!" He then kissed her on the lips, and grabbed the key out of her bra.

"So are you going to have sex with me?" Amy asked.

"Nah I changed my mind! See yah!" he ran off.

"What a strange man," She walked into her room.

Salsa opened the door with the key and went into Zarbon's room, "Where is that tape?" He searched the whole room and could not seem to find the tape, "Damn where is that tape?"

"Salsa what are you doing in my room?" Salsa turned around and saw that Zarbon just gotten out of the shower, covered with a towel and his hair was dripping wet.

"Zarbon what a surprise!" Salsa started pitching a tent, "Freeze!" he yelled.

"Oh my God are you pitching a tent! That is hilarious! I didn't think you needed a laser gun!" Zarbon said laughing.

"I got to go see yah!" Salsa then ran out of the room.

Later on Zarbon knocked on Liya's door, and Liya answered it, "Do you have the protection?" Liya asked.

"Of course I always bring protection." Zarbon said

"Hop on in!" Liya said as she let Zarbon in.

"But what I really came by for is that I want to know how Salsa got into my room?" Zarbon asked.

Liya eyes grew wide, "He got into your room?" Liya asked.

"Liya you're the only one that carries an extra key to my room." Zarbon said.

Liya then started dripping sweat and gulped, "I gave it to Amy."

"No you gave it to Amy?" Zarbon asked all shocked.

"I figured that it wasn't safe for me to get it and for some reason today, Salsa tried to seduce me." Liya said.

"Obviously because you have the key to my room! You knew that Salsa has had his eye on me for years!" Zarbon said.

"I think he was after something else." Liya said.

"Well he was looking around saying, "Where's that tape". Oh my God do you think that Freezer sent him to look for that tape?" Zarbon asked.

"Obviously, but how did he get into your room!" Liya asked.

"We need to ask Amy." Zarbon said.

They knock on Amy's door, and she opens it.

"Why hello…" They grabbed Amy, went into her room, and shut the door. "What is the meaning of this?" asked Amy.

"Amy, where is the key that I gave to you?" asked Liya.

"Oh it's right here in my bra!" Amy reached into her bra and did not find it, "Uh oh!" she said.

Liya sighed, "What happened?"

"I don't know I must have misplaced it!" Amy said still searching her bra.

"Amy did Salsa talk to you?" Liya asked.

"Actually it was more than that, he tried to seduce me!" Amy said.

"Why?" Zarbon asked.

"I don't know because I'm so good looking!" Amy said smiling.

"No! Don't you get it you half-wit, he tried to seduce you and he grabbed the key from you!" Zarbon said.

"Well excuse me, but why do you have an extra key to his room Liya?" Amy asked.

"Uh should we tell her Zarbon?" Liya asked with an awkward look on her face.

"No absolutely not." Zarbon said.

"It's ok I understand, you two make a lovely…." Zarbon interrupted Amy.

"All right Amy; since Salsa stole the key from you we're going to have to hide the tape somewhere else." Zarbon said.

"I'll watch it!" Amy said.

"No you can't it's to devastating to watch!" Zarbon said.

"No silly I'll look after it!" Amy said.

"Absolutely not!" Liya hissed.

"I say we give it to someone else to watch after it, someone more trustworthy." Zarbon said.

Zarbon, Liya and Amy went to Apple's room and knocked on the door, Apple answered it, and Zarbon told Apple the whole story,"You want me to watch the tape?" Apple asked.

Zarbon said, "Yes somehow Salsa got a hold of a copy of my key to my room."

"How, who had a copy to begin with?" Apple asked.

"I did," Liya said.

"What are you doing with an extra copy to Zarbon's room?" Apple smiled slyly, "Oh I see, you two are….."

"Apple just watch the tape!" Zarbon said.

"I can't bear to watch it!" Apple said.

"No look after it!" Zarbon said.

"Oh I see." Apple laughed.

Zarbon then said, "I have to go on a mission soon, come on guys!"

"See yah!" She ran after Liya and Zarbon.

Apple then blushed and said, "Bye Amy!" He had hearts in his eyes and they were flying up in the air.

Salsa hid behind a corner, "So the Apple is in love with Amy hum? Well I'll just have to do something drastic!" he thought. Amy walked down the hallway, and Salsa came up behind her pointing a laser gun at her, "Freeze bitch I have a task for you to do!" Salsa said.

"Just take it easy pal." Amy said.

"Do this task for me!" Salsa said.

Later Amy knocked on Apple's door with Salsa hiding around the corner with the laser gun, Apple answered the door, "Amy what are you doing here?" he asked excited to see her.

"Take me into your courter!" Amy said as she went into his room and shut the door. "Look Salsa is hiding behind the corner with a laser gun, and he'll kill me if you don't give me that tape."

"I would give it to you, but Amy I can't, I promised Zarbon I would keep it safe!" Apple said.

"Give me the tape!" Amy said.

"No!" Apple said.

Amy then batted her eyes, "I'll have sex with you if you do!" she said.

"Deal!" He took the tape out from under the bed and gave it to Amy.

"Got yah!" Amy said.

Apple said, "Wait one minute there! Give that tape back to me now!" He grabbed it from her.

"No!" She grabbed it from him.

"Yes!" Apple grabbed it from her.

"No!" Amy tried to take the tape from him, and then he grabbed the other end of the tape and they started doing a tug of war with it.

Salsa was getting impatient, "What the hell is taking so long? What is going on in there? Now I'll have to take matters into my own hands!" He fired the laser gun in Apple's room and he saw Amy and Apple fighting over the tap. "Amy, throw it over here! Now!" Salsa pointed the laser gun at her.

"All right!" Amy said then she grabbed the tape and threw it over to Salsa.

"So long suckers!" Salsa laughed and ran out of the room.

Apple then said, "We got to stop him! Come on! Get your laser gun!" They got their laser guns and started running after Salsa.

Salsa laughed, "Oh I can't wait to show this tape to Freezer, he'll totally disown Zarbon as his heir to the empire!" All the sudden lasers were being shot at him, "What the?" He turned around and saw Amy and Apple shooting the lasers at him.

"Give that tape back!" Amy yelled.

"Never!" Salsa yelled back.

"Oh my God what is going on? What is all this noise?" asked Liya.

"Out of my way bitch!" Salsa pushed her to the ground and ran off.

Zarbon gotback from his mission, "What a mission, that was sorter then I thought."

"Bonjur Zarbon!" Salsa said running past him.

"Bonjur Salsa, why the running of a marathon?" Zarbon asked laughing at his lame pun.

"Get that tape!" Liya yelled.

Liya, Amy and Apple run past Zarbon, "Oh my God Salsa's got the tape! How did this happen?" Zarbon ran after them.

Kiwi walked out of his room yawning, "That was a nice nap!" All the Salsa fell asleep and Kiwi, who was not looking, tripped over Salsa and fell down. All the sudden Zarbon, Liya, Amy and Apple all fell down on top of Salsa and Kiwi, and the tape went flying into the air.

"No!" Zarbon yelled as the tape broke into pieces when it hit the ground.

"What the hell just happened?" asked Liya.

"Salsa has narcolepsy!" Zarbon said.

"I'm telling Lord Freezer!" Vegeta laughed and ran to Freezer.

"We're dead!" Kiwi said.

Next thing you know, Zarbon was cleaning the toilets along with Kiwi, Salsa, Apple, Liya, and Amy.

"Ha ha! You all have to clean the toilets!" Vegeta laughed and skipped along.

"You stupid little brat, remind me Liya, never to mate with a Sayain woman." Zarbon said.

"Remember Zarbon the Sayain Race is pretty much extinct."

"I'm glad it's extinct, they were a horrible race anyways, bent on destruction." Kiwi said.

"I agree." Amy said.

"I hate all of you! It's your fault Zarbon!" Salsa said.

"Excuse me, but as a high class prince/slave I wouldn't have dared stolen that tape! Kiwi this is your entire fault, if you wouldn't have gotten us all high we would have nothing to hide!"

"Am I the one who stole that tape? No Liya did!" Kiwi said.

"You are lucky that tape was destroyed because who knows, you could have had a worst punishment!" Liya said.

"I swear a prince like me shouldn't be doing such a dirty job like this, why doesn't Freezer just hire immigrants?" Zarbon asked.

"Because Freezer doesn't trust immigrants," Liya said.

"I'm an immigrant!" Zarbon said.

"So am I!" Apple said. They all laughed.

"Less talking and more cleaning!" Freezer yelled.

"Yes lord Freezer!" Everyone said.

End of Story


	9. Chapter 9

**One Death is a Tragedy, One Million is a Statistic**

Zarbon came in with a box and put it onto the table, he sighed, "I'm going to miss you old friend," Zarbon said. It turns out that the box had a name written on it and it said _Blacky_, better known as Zarbon's Devon Rex.

Later that evening Zarbon was in the boardroom conducting a meeting with the other generals, he was of course the top general and the most accurate one. "Now if we attack here then we will be able to stop the Zargothas from getting to the military base." Zarbon said using a pointer.

"That's nice and all, but what about all around the planet?" asked Freezer.

"But sir we can't just take out the whole planet, in case you haven't heard the rumors the Zargothians are infamous for their lasers that they create." Zarbon said.

"So what, that never bothered me, you need to march your platoon into the canyons and take them out!" Freezer said.

"But sir, that will require some sacrificing of some solders," Zarbon said.

"So what, that's not my problem!" Freezer said taking a sip of wine.

"But Freezer, it would be much..." before Zarbon could finish, Freezer interrupted him.

"Do as I order you to do general Zarbon or else I'll put your head on a stake just like the Ottoman Turks did to their enemies!" Freezer yelled.

Zarbon gulped, "Yes sir."

At the space pod grounds, Jeice kissed Tina on the lips, they went from being enemies to being engaged, Tina after all loved Jeice ever since they were in preschool.

"I look forward to a big wedding when you come back." He said.

She looked at him sadly, "I have a strange feeling that I won't be coming back." She said.

"What makes you say that?" asked Jeice.

"I don't know I just have a feeling." Tina said, and then continued to say, "I'll miss you." She kissed him on the lips again.

Liya then laughed. "Oh I love the sight of love, remember when we were in love once?" she asked batting her eyes.

"Yes I do, but that was a long time ago when we were kids," Zarbon said.

"Maybe we can get together when our mission is done." Liya said.

"I'll think about it," Zarbon said.

"Let's go, come on Tina time's a wasting!" yelled Zarbon.

"Ok, bye Jeice!" she yelled waving to him.

"Bye Tina!" Jeice yelled waving back, little did he know that that might be the last time he would ever see her alive. Zarbon, Tina and Liya had to go to Planet Zargotha to imprison the inhabitances, of course Zarbon did not like going on missions. When they got there, it was all quiet in the canyons.

"I don't like this place Zarbon, it's scary," said Tina.

"Well maybe if you hold onto me then we can be safer." Zarbon joked; all the sudden a laser gun flashed and hit Tina in the heart.

"Oh my God Tina!" Zarbon then bent down onto the ground and held her in his arms.

"Zarbon give Jeice these," she gave him her only pair of glasses, "And tell him that was I glad that he was my first." She said, then there was no life left in her, she was dead.

"We've been ambushed! I knew this was a bad military move but no, Freezer wanted to fuck it up! Solders to your battle stations!" Zarbon yelled.

There were lasers going off everywhere and then a bunch of Zargothians jumped from above to fight the platoon. They shot lasers into a lot of the platoon, most of them dying, while the ones that did survive were shooting fireballs that included Zarbon and Liya and some other people. Liya was winning it looked like.

"Yes I'm the victor!" she yelled, all the sudden Zarbon saw a Zargothian lift up a good-sized rock.

"Liya look out!" yelled Zarbon.

"What?" she turned around but it was too late; the Zargothian threw the rock into her knocking her down.

"No!" Zarbon yelled, and then he threw a fireball at the Zargothian killing him instantly.

Zarbon then ran over to Liya and lifted the rock up, she looked like she was crushed and she was bleeding and coughing up blood. "Liya!" he yelled.

"Zarbon leave me here to die!" she yelled.

"No I can't do that! I won't let you!" he then picked her up and hid in a cave until the fighting died down.

Hours later he was still in the cave with Liya who was still coughing up blood, "I think my ribs are broken." She said in a raspy voice.

"How do you know?" asked Zarbon.

"Because I can't feel them, I can't feel my whole body." She said.

"Oh no you're paralyzed." Zarbon said.

"So it's true," Liya said.

"Stay here I'll go and get help!" yelled Zarbon.

"No don't worry about me, hey Zarbon can I ask you something?" she asked.

"Yes what is it?" asked Zarbon.

"Do you still have feelings for me, even though we can never be together?" She asked.

"Don't be silly we are together right now," he then took her in his arms, even though she could not feel him.

"I won't leave you, never ever will I leave you'" Zarbon said.

"Zarbon I'm a little scared of death." She said,

"Death is just another part of life, I know it's creepy but you'll be all right, I promise, I'm going to get you some help," he then kissed her on the lips and started crying.

"Promise me something." Liya said.

"Anything," Zarbon said.

"Destroy Freezer!" she said, and with that, she breathed no more, she lied lifeless in Zarbon's arms.

"Liya wake up! Are you still here? Please Liya don't leave me! Don't leave me alone!" he started crying with great anguish.

He kept Liya's corps in the cave and then found a space pod a day later and went back to Planet Freezer.

Jeice was waiting for them to return, however Zarbon was the only one to return from the mission, everyone else died. "Where's Tina?" Jeice asked.

Zarbon looked at him sadly, "She wanted you to have these." He took out the pair of glasses that she was wearing and gave them to Jeice.

"I don't understand," Jeice said.

"She didn't make it, neither did Liya or the rest," Zarbon said sobbing.

"No, this isn't real! This can't be happening!" Jeice then started crying and he and Zarbon hugged each other.

Zarbon and Jeice held a private funeral service in memory of Liya and Tina. There was crying and poor Gilda, Tina's best friend who was supposed to be the bridesmaid was sobbing. Later that evening, Zarbon was in his room crying, and Apple and Kiwi were at the door knocking, "Come on Zarbon, please come out, we have a surprise for you!" Kiwi said.

"Go away, I don't want to talk to anyone!" yelled Zarbon.

"Come on Kiwi let's leave him alone," Apple said

. "The cook from the kitchen made you a peanut butter and jelly sandwich!" yelled Kiwi.

"I'm not hungry, it's my entire fault! I shouldn't have listened to Freezer's horrible military strategy!" yelled Zarbon.

"Look what happened to Liya and Tina wasn't your fault; it was their time to go!" Kiwi said, but Zarbon sobbed even more.

"Way to go Kiwi, Zarbon we're sad that Liya is dead too, but you need to eat something, or else you'll probably starve!" Apple said.

"Then maybe I should starve!" Zarbon said.

All the sudden Miretta, Zarbon's younger half sister came up to them, "Is Zarbon in the room?" she asked.

"Yes but he won't come out for anything!" Kiwi said.

"Something horrible has happened!" Miretta said.

"We know, Liya and Tina were killed," Apple said.

"No not that! Something much worse, I need to see him immediately!" Miretta said.

"Ok I'll let you in!" Zarbon said, he opened the door and she walked into the room.

"So what's up?" asked Zarbon.

"Um I don't know how to tell you this, but my husband, your ex trainer has done something terrible." She said.

"Did he hit you again?" asked Zarbon.

"No, he raped Tatiana and got her pregnant!" she said sobbing.

Zarbon's eyes were wide and at that moment, he turned from sobbing to rage, Tatiana was Zarbon's niece, who was behind Lida and in front of Sergey. "He's gone too far this time! I'm going to murder him!" Zarbon was about to go and kick Shasha's ass.

"No don't, I just want Tatiana to get an abortion, and we can just pretend it never happened!" Miretta said.

"Ok let's get her that abortion!" Zarbon said.

After Tatiana got an abortion, Zarbon knew he could take it no more, Shasha could rape all the women he wanted, but why did it have to be Tatiana? Zarbon wanted to protect his sister and his nieces and nephew, so he did the most unthinkable thing in the world, and maybe the fatal mistake of his life, he went to Freezer one night in the bedroom. Freezer was wearing a red robe.

"Hello Zarbon do you like my robe, don't I look good in red?" he asked.

"Yes you do sir, but I've come on a certain matter," Zarbon said. "What would that be?" asked Freezer.

"Well you know how Shasha has been going out with my sister for years now, and that they have three children together?" asked Zarbon.

"Yes and your point is?" asked Freezer.

"Well, they're actually married," Zarbon said.

"What? You're joking right?" asked Freezer.

"No I'm not, they got married when I was about seventeen was it?"Zarbon asked.

Freezer walked up to Zarbon, "You better not be joking because you know that I have no purpose for marrying off Primal Changelings." Freezer said.

"But they are married sir, haven't you ever noticed the ring on my sister's finger?" asked Zarbon.

"No never!" Freezer said.

"Well and there is something else too, Shasha impregnated my sister's daughter and she had to get an abortion." Zarbon said.

"What? There shall be no incest in this palace! I'll take him off your back!" Freezer said.

"Thank you sir!" Zarbon said.

Freezer smiled rather evilly, "Anytime Zarbon, anytime." He then took another sip of wine.

Yes, that son of a bitch Shasha was getting what was coming to him!

During the middle of the night, Shasha was arrested, and so was Miretta, when Zarbon heard the news, he could not believe his ears, what did Miretta do? In the courtroom, Freezer was the judge, Freezer a judge imagine that. Zarbon was sitting there nervously, and Miretta and Shasha sat on the bench with chains at their ankles.

"Shasha and Miretta, you're both guilty for marrying each other without permission and Shasha is accused of raping his own daughter!" Freezer said.

Zarbon stood up, "Yes Zarbon do you have anything to say?" asked Freezer.

"Yes I do, what is she being held accounted for?" asked Zarbon.

"Because she married Mr. Shasha and she has to pay for it." Freezer said.

Zarbon's eyes grew wide, "But isn't that a little harsh?" he asked.

"Silence or you're next pretty boy!" Freezer yelled pounding the mallet on the stand.

"Therefore the punishment is death!" Freezer continued.

"Wait, can't you grant them mercy just this once?" asked Zarbon.

"No sir, I can't do that, you mean have them beheaded right?" asked Freezer.

"If I can't save them, or at least save Miretta from certain death, then sure." Zarbon said.

"Nope ain't going to happen, give them the oldest execution method known to man! Burn them at the stake!" Freezer said.

"Please have mercy!" yelled Zarbon. Freezer looked into Zarbon's eyes, and could see how upset he was.

"Ok," Freezer said.

"Thank you Freezer!" Zarbon said.

"As soon as their corps stop burning then you can gather their ashes and put them in urns!" Freezer said, he laughed and then pounded the mallet on the stand.

In prison, Shasha and Miretta were in separate prisons, Zarbon went to visit Miretta and Dodoria, who was Shasha's best friend in the world, visited Shasha. In prison Zarbon bought Miretta some water, she drank the whole damn bottle down. "I hope you're all right, I'm sorry I told Freezer that you and Shasha were married, I thought honestly that Freezer was just going to punish Shasha only." Zarbon said looking sad.

"It's all right, at least you kept my children safe, and that's all that matters to me." Miretta said.

"Please I don't want you to burn at the stake Miretta, what would father say?" Zarbon asked.

"You have to tell father what happened to me; let him know that I'm pretty much shit out of luck." Miretta said.

"I'm going to miss you, why did you have to go so soon? Maybe I can rescue you somehow and get you back onto Planet Primal." Zarbon said.

"No don't you'll die trying; I want to keep you safe too." Miretta said.

"But I don't want you to die," Zarbon said.

"Everyone dies, not everyone truly lives." Miretta said.

"Please I don't want you to die," Zarbon said sobbing.

"Its ok brother; I'll always be with you." Miretta said petting Zarbon's hair as he had his head in her lap.

The next day Shasha and Miretta, forcefully tied to a post back to back, they were both afraid about what awaited them. Zarbon forcefully had to watch them die, then Freezer raised his hand high in the air, "Any last words before I have you both burned to a crisp!" Freezer said.

"Yes let me go! I didn't do anything to deserve this!" Shasha said.

"I don't know about that, incest is a pretty horrible capital offence, you could have ended up having retarded offspring!" Freezer said laughing.

"Freedom!" yelled Miretta.

"Burn them! Burn them! I want to watch this happen, give me the bag of potato chips Zarbon!" yelled Freezer.

Zarbon started crying and handed the bag of potato chips to Freezer. Freezer started munching on the potato chips as the executioner started the fire and as the flesh was burning off Miretta and Shasha, and listening to their blood curling screams. Zarbon then swooned right in front of Freezer.

Zarbon woke up hours later, "What happened?" asked Zarbon who was in a room surrounded by Apple and Kiwi.

"You fainted," said Apple.

"Oh boy I had a horrible dream that my sister and Shasha were being burned at the stake!" Zarbon said.

Kiwi and Apple looked sadly at Zarbon, "Its true isn't it? I have to stop the execution before it starts!" Zarbon said getting up.

"It's too late, they're gone." Kiwi said sadly.

"No it's not true!" said Zarbon.

Zarbon hours later just sat in front of the stake staring at Shasha and Miretta's ashes, Vegeta that snotty prince who was said or rumored to have the arrogance of Iosif Stalin, the Coldness of Mao Zedong, and the impulsiveness of Adolf Hitler, came up to him. "What can I say, I didn't except much from your sister Zarbon, she was a slut anyways!" Vegeta said laughing.

Zarbon got so pissed off that he threw Vegeta up against the wall, "Now you know how it feels to have someone insult you for having lost a loved one!" Vegeta said.

"What are you talking about?" asked Zarbon.

"You insulted me when my father died!" he said.

"Oh yah I did didn't I? I forgot about that. Come on Vegeta have a heart I apologized to you the day afterwards because I felt badly. I was how old, like nineteen?" Zarbon said.

"Yah only after your own father was almost murdered by Freezer!" Vegeta said.

"Look Miretta liked you as friend, how could you say that about her?" asked Zarbon.

"Because I have no feelings for her, so long pretty boy!" Vegeta laughed and skipped along his marry way to go do a mission.

Now it was true that Vegeta and Zarbon hated each other, and always have, emotionally abusing each other even in front of Freezer. Although Vegeta started the whole thing, he should not be blamed for his father who happened to be a barbarian anyways raised him.

When raised by Freezer after Freezer murdered his father, he became an even more spoiled brat.

It is said that his hatred for Zarbon started not when Zarbon insulted his dead father, but when Zarbon was forced to use his soothsayer powers to find where he was located.

While he and his father were on a mission bonding a little bit more than usual, Freezer's men came, got him, and took him back to Planet Freezer. There he met Zarbon who was sitting on Freezer's thrown with a staff in his hand, Vegeta immediately hated him on the spot even though Zarbon tried to explain that he was force to use his powers, that naïve seventeen year old taking on a bratty thirteen year old Sayain, imagine that. 

Matters turned for the worst when he discovered that Miretta, his best friend and daughter of King Morphiess, better known as Zarbon's dad, was a prisoner too.

Ever since Miretta married that dirty no good Shasha, he held a major grudge against her, and blamed Zarbon even more for that, because he had secretly been in love with her ever since the day they met, even though she was only three or was is two years older than him?

His dad was friends with Zarbon's dad since they met on Planet Freezer in the seventh grade, and when King Morphiess found out that King Vegeta had been murdered and Planet Vegeta was destroyed he wanted vengeance, and almost got killed doing it, if it hadn't been for Cooler or Zarbon then he too would have perished.

He did not make much of an effort to take his own son back to the planet nor Vegeta, nor his daughter.

Zarbon gathered up the ashes of both his sister and Shasha, he then knocked on Dodoria's door, Dodoria answered it crying, "What do you want?" he asked.

"Here, it's Shasha in a box," Zarbon said handing Shasha's ashes over to Dodoria.

"Why aren't you going to throw them away?" asked Dodoria?

"I know he was your only friend, so no," Zarbon said.

"Thank you, you don't know how much it means to me!" then Dodoria slammed the door shut.

Zarbon went back to his room with Miretta's ashes in his hands. He then did the unimaginable; he started writing to his father, who he had not seen in many years.

"Dear father, I'm writing to you, however the occasion isn't a good one. Miretta has been executed along with Shasha. I cannot tell you how she died, but I will tell you how she lived, she was a good mother, faithful wife of a brutal, rapist, and the best half sister in the world. We looked out for each other, but it was not enough to save her from certain death. I know we have not spoken in such a long time, but I think I love you, I longed for you to come and rescue me, but that did not happen. Oh well can't argue, I'm still around. Please don't hold a grudge against me, for I feel that I am fully responsible for her demise. Love you, Zarbon." As Zarbon finished writing the letter, he broke down into tears and went into his bed with his sister's ashes in his arms; he hugged and held her remains close to his heart.

He was in utter shock that Freezer executed his sister, whose only crime was marriage to a rapist like Shasha.

When his father got the mail, he was excited to see a letter from his son, but it turned to sadness as soon as he read it, and he crashed to the floor sobbing for days.

A week later, after Zarbon and his friends finished grieving they got together for something that they never thought about before. Zarbon was pissed as hell by then; he pounded his fist on the table.

"Freezer needs to be destroyed! He has killed too many loved ones, plus he has destroyed and murdered at least a billion citizens of the universe!" Zarbon said.

"But Zarbon you're the one who suggested that he destroy the Sayain race," Dodoria said.

"No that was a rumor, started by Freezer himself," Zarbon said.

"But I was there," Dodoria said.

"Look I was worried that they were a little unstable, Freezer hadn't the slightest idea what he was doing with them, and they were beginning to become unstable. We couldn't have them conquer the universe, besides I saw in a vision that they would rule the universe and every species out there would be in danger. I didn't suggest it necessarily, I was just saying that they were getting a little unstable and he took it the wrong way." Zarbon said.

"Enough about the Sayains, they were unstable he's right, I heard a rumor that they were planning on assassinating Freezer and planning to conquer the planet." Kiwi said.

"I don't blame them, but that would mean that we would all be in danger, but I thought we were supposed to drop the subject," Zarbon said.

"The point is that we need to overthrow Freezer, his father and Cooler, they are unstable tyrants who have murdered too many of our loved ones." Captain Ginyu said.

"Yes he murdered my sister!" Zarbon said.

"He murdered my best friend in the world!" Dodoria said with a box of tissues he took one out and blew his nose in it.

"He murdered my fiancé, we were supposed to get married when she returned, but she didn't, she's dead because of him!" said Jeice.

"He also murdered my best friend and maybe even best love interest indirectly, he sent us to the death probably thinking we would never come back, well I came back and he made the most horrible military strategy in the world! I clearly told him that fighting the Zargothians in a cannon was a bad idea, especially since they are built to live on rocks," Zarbon said.

"It would be a good way to make amends for all the crimes that we helped Freezer commit, but it won't bring back our loved ones," Jeice said looking sad.

"How come Vegeta isn't a part of this meeting, doesn't he hate Freezer most of all?" asked Apple. "He's on a mission with Nappa and Raddiz. Besides he's excessively unstable to be a part of this, I had another vision last night that he would ruin our plan to assassinate Freezer. " Zarbon said. Everyone started laughing, "I'm serious he's unstable, sometimes he is more instable then I, he likes to pick fights with people twice his size." said Zarbon.

"Yah forget about him, he's crazy anyways, I think he's bipolar or something." Jeice said.

Zarbon glared at Jeice, "Excuse me but I've been diagnosed with the disorder myself, but let's get back to our plan!" Zarbon said.

Kiwi eyes grew wide and he said, "We need to move quickly to make sure that Freezer is destroyed before we…."

All the sudden, one of Freezer's low level men came running in, better known as Raspberry, "Guys, guys, Zarbon, Dodoria, Kiwi and Apple you're needed for a mission!" he yelled out of breath.

"Where to this time!" asked Dodoria.

"To Planet Namic!" Raspberry said.

"What? What in the world would he want with those people, Planet Namic is the most peaceful planet in the universe, I would hardly think he would want to pick a fight with them." Zarbon said.

"Because he says that the ancient Dragon balls are located on there!" Raspberry said.

"That's so stupid, there are no such things as Dragon balls, it's only a myth, besides the only ones that do exist are the ones that are made in China, but they hold no power or value," Zarbon said.

"No these ones are magical and they work! He wants to be the ruler of the universe!" Raspberry said.

"We can't allow that to happen!" Kiwi said.

"Ok new plan, as soon as we get to Namic and collect all seven Dragon balls we will make a wish that Freezer and his family be overthrown and powerless!" Zarbon said.

"What happens if we never come back? What if the prophesy that Zarbon predicted comes true?" asked Kiwi.

"Then we have the Ginyu Force to help us out if something bad happens." Zarbon said.

"But what if Freezer calls on us to help out?" asked Jeice.

"Then I'll do all I can in my power to protect you from getting your ass killed, because if you're dead then how will Freezer be overthrown? From this moment on we must swear that no matter what happens to any of us, Freezer must be stopped, whose with me?" asked Zarbon putting his arm in the middle.

"I am!" Apple said putting his hand on Zarbon's.

"Let's do it for the people that Freezer had us murder!" Zarbon said.

"For Shasha!" Dodoria said putting his hand on Apple's hand.

"I didn't like Shasha, but even he didn't deserve to die in that kind of way. Let's do it for Liya and Miretta!" Zarbon said.

"For Tina!" Jeice said putting his hand on Dodoria's.

"For making Amy the Sphinx run away from the planet!" Apple said.

"For pretty much anything that you all have said!" Kiwi said putting his hand on Jeice's hand.

"For anyone else that we lost dear to us," Captain Ginyu said putting his hand on Kiwi's hand.

"We also must not let Vegeta get the Dragon Balls either, or else we're doomed as well." Zarbon said.

"Let's go!" everyone said.

Zarbon went to Namic, but never returned to Planet Freezer, while his good friends Apple, Kiwi, Jeice and even Dodoria were murdered by Vegeta, who ruined the plan and wanted to overthrow Freezer himself, it's is unknown what happened to Zarbon.

Some say that Vegeta who was so well hated by many murdered him; others say that Freezer murdered Zarbon, but indirectly, another casualty, another victim of Freezer's.

He was born 1958 earth years and vanished in 1990; he was thirty-two years old, in human years.

After the report that he vanished, there was a huge revolt on Planet Freezer, and the Cold Family, kicked off the thrown, vanished never be heard from again.

Planet Freezer became a democracy, and was renamed Planet Zarbon in remembrance of the martyred slave prince.

A statue placed in the town square in remembrance of him, while some universities were named after him.

Although a rumor started that in the afterlife, according to the high priests, he ran away from Freezer so that he may be away from him.

Then another rumor started up in 2001 that he was bought back to life on a distant planet, like Earth but called Earth 2, by a beautiful young human sorceress. If in fact that rumor proved to be fact, then perhaps fate had given him another chance.

End of Story

To see Zarbon get resurrected by that hot sorceress that is mentioned above, go to story collection "A Second Chance at Life".


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